Tuesday, March 29, 2005

In Praise of Younger Men

Demi, Cameron, Drew, Gwyneth, Sheryl, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, Cher and Julianne Moore, the list is endless nowadays of celebrities dating younger men. The trend has become so prevalent, that VH-1 had a show on last night about it. Where celebrities go, everyone is sure to follow right?

The truth is that women have been involved with younger men since time immortal. Diane de Poitiers was fifteen years older than her royal lover Henri II. Both Jennie Jerome Churchill and Lillie Langtry married much younger men as Mrs. Patrick Campbell. It's only recently that it's become more acceptable for an older woman to be with a younger man. Why? Probably because women are living longer, taking better care of themselves, or just because like men with younger women, there's something about being with a younger man that it is appealing.

To tell the truth, I've always preferred older men myself until recently. Despite the fact that my boyfriend in high school was a few months younger than me, he couldn't really be classified as an younger guy, even though he was in a lower grade then me. In fact, the older the better as far as I was concerned. I once flirted with a 23 year old lifeguard when I was 13, even though he could have been arrested for kissing me.

When I was 14, I had a crush on a 26 year old. Maybe it was the fact that they were older, and had more life experience than me, and I was longing to be older than I was, perhaps that was part of the attraction for me with older men. As I matured, the age difference got smaller, most of my boyfriends were only 3 or 4 years older than me. I did have a serious flirtation with an older Scotsman who was 18 years older than me, but that came to nothing when I realized that Walker was the male equivalent of crack cocaine. You think you can handle it, but before you know it you're in rehab after your friends stage an intervention.

Now that I'm (gasp!) 40, I'm starting to look at younger men in a different light. Whether it's the cute Australian bartender at 8 Mile Creek or the almost normal investment banker at my last temp job, younger man have lots of appeal. They don't have as many hang-ups about age that older men have, meaning that they're not looking for a brood mare. They appreciate that a woman can get better as she gets older.

All of a sudden, they're everywhere I turn. Younger men. Instead of drooling over stars like George Clooney and Brad Pitt, I'm starting to notice guys like Orlando Bloom and Matthew McConaughey. Then my friends started dating younger men, and having babies with them. Maybe they knew something that I didn't.

A lot of younger men seem more secure, and they've been raised by a generation of woman who were more liberated than say my parents generation. Still it wasn't until I started going on line at sites like Match.com and Matchmaker that I started thinking seriously about the possibility of dating younger guys. Too many of the guys who were emailing me were in their fifties, divorced with lots of kids. Not exactly what I was looking for.

I'm not looking at my age to drop 3 or 4 kids. If I can have one healthy one, I'll adopt the other. But I do want to have at least one child of my own. Plus alot of these guys looked older than their age. I'm fortunate that I look at least ten years younger, and I guess I'm shallow that I want a guy who takes care of himself.

But the real kicker was when I met a guy speeddating, who was ten years younger than me. He was cute, a cop, and he really liked me. Then there was the guy I met while doing a summer share in the Hamptons, he was three younger than me, but he went on and on, about what a hot body I had, and how it was the body of a twenty year old. It was then I started to think well maybe dating someone 5 or 6 years younger than me wouldn't be so bad.

I don't think I could go 16 years younger like Demi. He'd have to be born before the Bicentennial. I don't want to raise my husband, but it's nice if we have some of the same reference points, like he remembers Jimmy Carter, and Wham, not just George Michael.

Speaking of younger men, I watched The Bachelor last night. I hadn't meant to but I was curious about Charlie O'Connell. I've got to say he probably has the most refreshing attitude of all the guys, and is the most down to earth since Andrew and Byron. Although when Chris Harrison (who must be looking for a way out of his contract now) introduced him as one of America's most eligible bachelors, I had to laugh. Why?

Take a look at his credits on Internet Movie Database. This guy hasn't worked as an actor in 3 or 4 years. He was introduced as a 'real estate developer.' What does that mean? He has a real estate license? Still, despite that, he seems like a fun guy that you can hang around with, and the dates last night were pretty low-key. Going to a dive bar, dancing, and playing beach volleyball at an indoor gym.

The girls however are a different story. They are the most competitive women I've ever seen, and for what? Jerry O'Connell's little brother? He ain't all that and a bag of chips ladies! But women were pushing each other out of dates, backstabbing, climbing all over him, taking off their bra, showing off their tattoos and belly rings. Oy! And I wonder why I'm single.

One of the women was totally uncomfortable by this and walked out. I applauded her guts for doing so....until she walked right back in. WTF? You leave because this isnt' your scene and Charlie isn't your type and then over night you change your mind? He ain't that cute! I have no idea what was going on in her little mind but she should have stayed away because she ended up not getting a rose after all that drama.

Next week, the girls get even bitchier, if that's possible, and I'll be cruising Match.com for my own personal younger man. Wish me luck!

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