Real Estate Porn

Two Bedrooms/Two Bathrooms, Soaring 16' Ceilings in LR & Master BR, Full Height Mezzanine BR Overlooks Dramatic Living Room which Opens to Large Private Patio Garden. Nicely Renovated Double-Sided Kitchen with Corian Counters and Glass Cabinetry. Nice Potential to Create Additional Mezzanine area above Master BR. Totally Peaceful Quiet Home with Southern Light. Building Features 24 Hour DM, Common Roofdeck, Bike and Storage Rooms. Very Solid Financials. Great Building Staff.


Sounds great, doesn't it? All this can be yours for the princely sum of $949,000 with a monthly maintenance of around $1,200.

I should be working on the revisions for Confessions of a Horror Queen, to send out to my top 5 agents. I have the letters all written and ready to go. Instead, what am I doing?

Procrastinating by looking at Real Estate Porn.

What is Real Estate Porn you may ask? It's the act of looking at apartments and townhouses you can't possibly afford for fun. Cruising the real estate ads in the NY Times, glancing at the listings in the windows of Real Estate agents, which seem to be on every corner here in Manhattan, it's insane. I used to think that I was the only one who did it, my dirty little secret, but I noticed when I was walking down Columbus on Sunday, that everyone was perusing the listings. Real Estate Porn gone mainstream.

I justify it to myself by saying that I'm doing research, you know making sure that my characters have the appropriate places to live in, for their budget and taste. The great thing about the internet is that you can look at Real Estate Porn in every city and country in the world. If I wanted to write a book set in Miami, all I have to do is look at the real estate listings in that city. That way I don't make the mistake that one writer did, having her heroine who makes $50,000 a year living in a studio in one of the worst neighborhoods in New York, East Harlem.

I fantasize about what I would buy if I won the lottery. Of course, since I live in New York, it would have to be MegaMillions, since a million ain't what it used to be in New York. That fireman who won Survivor knows what I mean. He's keeping his job.

But if I had say $10 million dollars, I could buy a lovely duplex garden apartment in the Village or Chelsea or even Brooklyn Heights, and then another flat in London. Heck, I could have flats in Paris and Venice as well. I have a friend who is lucky enough to have real estate all over the world. She has an apartment in New York, a cottage in Cornwall, a flat in London, a cottage in Grenada, Spain, and now she's looking for a flat in Venice.

Real Estate porn allows me to imagine how the other half lives. Last week on Kept, my other guilty pleasure, Jerry Hall took her men to spend the weekend at Hever Castle in Kent, Anne Boleyn's former home.



Can you believe someone still lives here? If you've been to England, and never been to Hever, run don't walk. It's beautiful. Not quite as lovely as Leeds Castle but gorgeous. Jane Seymour owns a 16th Century home near Bath, called St. Catherine's Court. For a mere $16,000 a week, you and 10 of your friends can stay at her house, being waited on by a staff!

Sigh! I'm getting all excited just thinking about it. I think I need to lie down.

In the meantime, Write On!