I can't write. I don't mean that I'm incapable of writing, I mean that my life is so much in the crapper right now, that I can't muster up the will to sit down in front of the computer and write.
I don't know about other people, but when I'm depressed or upset, I can't write. Other people seem able to get through their personal crises and continue to write, but not me. Getting out of bed in the morning is hard when you're suffering from depression, letting alone trying to write about other people. This blog is about all I'm able to manage at the moment.
When my father died five years ago, I lost six months of writing time because I was grieving. When my brother passed, I was in a writing workshop, so I managed to push through and write the seven pages that were required but it was tough, let me tell you, and I don't think that what I wrote was particularly good.
Right now, I'm treading water, trying to get my head above it, and not drowning, so all my focus is on that. I've been so consumed with my own crap, that I completely screwed up a really great friendship, because I couldn't think about anything other than my own needs. A friend really needed me to be there for her, but I just couldn't do it. My mind was too consumed by me, me, me.
Doesn't that just suck, which is another contributing factor to my not being able to write anything beyond the most mundane of subjects like gossip and royalty.
I'm an incredibly emotional person, a water sign, and my emotions fluctuate like water, sometimes calm, sometimes stormy, mainly choppy waters. So, until I feel calmer, like my life is under control, I can't write anything fictional.
So bear with me everyone. My entries might be a bit weird for awhile until I sort things out. I have a plan A, a plan B, and a plan C, and then rock bottom plan which chiefly consists of my either selling a kidney on the black market or selling my underwear over the internet (Hey, don't judge me! A girl's got to do what a girl's got to do). Hopefully, it won't come to that.
You're right--a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, and in this instance she has to take care of herself. I find it hard to write when things are tough, too, and that just makes me more depressed. I'm sending out good vibes to the universe for you. Shout out if you need help!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I'm one of those people who can't write when life troubles are occupying my mind too. It's natural, and I wish you luck on getting back on your feet. =)
ReplyDeleteEKM:
ReplyDeleteGood luck with dealing with your stuff. It _is_ really hard to write when you're down, unless you're writing Literary Fiction.