Monday, May 15, 2006

Keeping it in the Family

So this weekend, I watched Rumor Has It, the Jennifer Aniston movie that kind of is about whether or not the story in The Graduate is based on a true story. It was pretty awful but one of the things that struck me was the fact Kevin Costner played a guy who slept with three generations of women in one family, grandmother, mother and daughter. Which is kind of gross if you ask me. Then I followed that up with The Family Stone, another heatwarming movie that in the trailer seemed to be one movie, and then turned out to be something else. But again what struck me was not the performances, although it was nice to see SJP play a character 360 degrees away from Carrie Bradshaw, but the idea of two brothers involved with the same woman. Now I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it, so stop reading right now if that's you.

For those who have seen it, was it only me who got a little creeped out by the fact that a) Dermot Mulroney had no problem suddenly switching his affections to SJP's sister, or the fact that he basically had no problems with his brother ending up with SJP? It was like some 70's key party with the four of them.

This comes on the heels of Denise Richards helping herself to ex-best friend's soon to be ex-husband and the most infamous of all Woody Allen leaving Mia Farrow for her adopted daughter.

Now historically in different cultures, a brother was required to marry his sibling's widow, to take care of her and any children she may have had. An in Egypt of course, brothers and sisters routinely married each other. Rumors swirled around Regency England that Bryon and his half-sister were extremely close if you know what I'm saying.

But it's still kind of gross. As far as I'm concerned dating your ex-boyfriend's brother, or your step-father, or even your friend's old boyfriend is like sharing their underwear. You just don't do it. Hey, I know that it's a jungle out there dating-wise, but you need to step out of the cesspool. People have asked me why Impossibly Handsome British Friend and I have never gotten together, and it's because he's slept with all of my friends. Sleeping with him would be like sleeping with all of them and I'm just not into it.

One of the skankiest women on daytime television, Brooke Logan Forrester Forrester Forrester of The Bold and The Beautiful has not only married two brothers and their father, she's also slept with two of her daughter's husbands. Are you skeeved out yet? But she loved them all so it must be okay. Even though her kids' half-brothers have also been their stepfathers.

Now I know that people use the excuse of you can't help who you love, and the heart wants what the heart wants (also known as the Woody Allen excuse), but I say that's total bullshit. There are certain things you just don't cross. A friend of mine once said that there was no way in hell she could sleep with a guy who had ever been intimate with her mother. I would feel like a total freak if a friend's father asked me, even if he were cute and single. Be my friend's stepmother? Are you kidding me?

You know I didn't always feel this way. One of my favorite romances is Sarah's Child by Linda Howard, which is you ignore the plot is one of the most emotionally satisfying books. You root for Sarah, you want Rome to fall in love with her and for them to live happily ever after. I just pretend that the whole thing about her being in love with her best friend's husband for years, and never having a life until her friend dies and she gets to have him, didn't happen.

What do other people think? Skeevy or understandable?

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