Saturday, May 26, 2007

EHarmony - Not so Harmonious

You know those EHarmony commercials where they have the testimonys from all the loving couples who instantly fell in love because they were matched up by EHarmony's patented compatability test? Did they even mention that it costs $60 for just one month of the service? Or that if you sign up for a year, they charge you $251 right off the bat? What about the fact that 3/4 of the men I'm oh so compatabile with seem to live 8 states away?

Yes, that' s right, apparently I'm compatabile with guys who live in Missoula, Montana but not guys who live in the tri-state area. Seriously, Missoula Montana? Doesn't Ted Turner own the state? Didn't he steal back in the 19th century from the Native Americans?

When I filled out my profile on EHarmony, and I said that I would be willing to relocate for love, I meant San Francisco, Philadelphia, Chicago, Boston, Washington, DC. You know a real city with a sports team, and decent theater. Not middle of nowhere Montana. I don't care if this guy is the absolute love of my life, I'm not moving to frickin Montana. Isn't that where Brokeback Mountain was set?

Seriously, Mr. Montana can move to New York, if we're so compatable. I mean, I actually do know someone who met her husband through EHarmony, but he lives in Philly which is a short train ride away. That's doable. Montana is not.

I think I might have to go back to JDate.

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