Open Letter to Garin Wolf

Dear Garin,

Congrats on your new job as head writer of General Hospital. It's no doubt well deserved, given the years that you have toiled in the trenches underneath Bob Guza.  I'm taking your promotion as a sign that ABC has high hopes for GH now that they've tossed the mighty legacy of Agnes Nixon (All My Children and One Life to Live) on the trash heap.

I know it's going to be awhile before you stories air, but might I make a few suggestions as to how you can save this show from suffering the same fate as its sisters? First of all, forget market research, and listen to what the fans want.  It's not hard to do. I suggest that you read what Mallory has been writing about GH over at Serial Drama for the past few years, and I'm sure that Jamie Giddens over at Daytime Confidential could help out as well. Don't forget Carolyn Hinsey at Soap Opera Digest who hit the nail on the head when she said that viewers don't want stories driven by arbitrary events that might boost ratings for 5 seconds but have no lasting effect.  We want character driven stories, not plot driven stories. Of course to make this work, some deadwood has to be trimmed from the cast.  Lisa Niles, Matt Hunter, Spinelli, Clare Walsh, Siobhan (also known as irritating Irish chick who serves no purpose), Abby, Brenda (whose return was totally botched by your predecessor), Johnny and Anthony Zacchara all need to hit the road in the next few months.

Recently my friend Mala and I sat down over the weekend and played Head Writer. Here are just some of the ideas that I came up with (you can read Mala's ideas here). I totally agree with her about a Lucky/Maxie/Liz triangle, it plays to the character's history and it makes sense that Lucky would turn to Maxie, especially if he's contemplating doing drugs again. Siobhan can't compete with that kind of history and frankly she's been written as nothing more than just feisty since she's been on the canvas.

1) Bring back Bobbie from under whatever rock she's been hiding under over the past several years. Carly needs her, as do Luke, Lucky and Lulu.  Find out why she's missed every significant moment in her daughter's life over the past few years, and why she wasn't there for Luke's intervention. Have her help Carly deal with yet another failed marriage. Also give her a job as Head OR nurse or head of the nursing program in general at GH. She finds herself falling for her old love Scott Baldwin who has returned to town with his daughter Serena, who immediately makes a bee-line for Michael Corinthos. Seems she likes to take a walk on the wild side of life.

2) Mala mentioned having Jason Morgan recover his memories.  Bring back either Lainey or Tom Hardy Jr. as head of psychiatry to help Jason deal with the fact that he's killed people for the past 16 years.  Tracy would now feel threatened, wanting Ned and Dillon to come back into the fold at ELQ. Perhaps, if they don't want to come back, she reaches out to JR Chandler and a merger between Chandler Electronics and ELQ which would bring JR and little Adam to Port Charles. JR finds himself drawn to Sam McCall even though she's engaged to Jason Morgan Quartermaine. This would bring the Quartermaines back to the forefront which is what fans have been clamoring for. Perhaps add a little corporate espionage to the mix. While you are at it, why not have Edward start courting Leslie Webber, finding love again in his twilight years. Take a look at the fan reaction to Victor Kiriakis and Maggie Horton over at DOL. Fans are open to love amongst all ages.

3) Now that Jason has taken his rightful place as the Quartermaine heir, where does that leave Sam? How does a con artist/detective/mob moll fit in to his new high sociey world? Especially when Kelly Cramer comes to town to take over the Port Charles newspaper. Sam breaks up with Jason and decided to find out who her father is which sends both Helena Cassadine and Alexis into a tizzy. Valentine Cassadine arrives in Port Charles and immediately moves into Windermere along with his new wife Holly Sutton. Is he Sam's father or is the truth even darker than she realizes? While Helena Cassadine tries to neutralize Sam finding out who her real father is, she also finds time to try and romance both Dr. David Hayward and Edward Quartermaine.

4) Dr. David Hayward arrives in Port Charles and takes over as head of cardiac surgery which puts him into conflict with Dr. Monica Quartermaine who is not ready to be put out to pasture. The two butt heads over surgeries and procedures. He immediately makes an ally of Carly Roberts Quartermaine Corinthos Jax who now has a seat on the hospital board thanks to her divorce from Jax.  Of course they hit the sheets, becoming Port Charles's new power couple. Hayward also clashes with Patrick Drake over who has the bigger cojones as a doctor. Despite the fact that he was once Robin's stepfather when he was married to her mother Anna, Hayward and Robin also clash over her research. Remember David Hayward loves to mess with drugs (Libidizone anyone?).  Who knows what he could create and release into the punch bowl at say the nurse's ball?

5) If Robin didn't have enough of a headache with her former stepfather back in town, her uncle deciding to quit the police force, Bianca Montgomery comes to town and reveals exactly what Robin was doing all those years in Paris.  Bianca comes to town to make a business deal with Jasper Jax. Fusion needs a serious influx of cash and Jax is one of the few venture capitalists who has money to invest. Sonny also wants to invest so that he can launder some cash in a desperate attemp to go clean to try and get Brenda back. While in town, Bianca connects with her old friend Robin. It turns out that the women were more than friends for awhile until Robin decided that she really prefers men, but seeing Bianca again stirs up old feelings which causes Patrick to once again feel insecure and to have problems controlling his jealously.

6) Mac decides to retire as police commissioner, disallusioned by the force's inability to end organized crime in the city. He takes a job as head of security at the MetroCourt where Max and Milo now work since Sonny has decided to go straight. Frisco Jones, after years of working for the WSB, finally comes back to town, on a mission to find out what Helena and Valentine Cassadine are up to. He also needs to deal with one angry daughter, Maxie Jones, who tears into him for his years of neglect, and for not even coming back for her sister Georgie's funeral. Maxie finally deals with her daddy issues. While working at the Metrocourt he runs into Kate Howard, who decides to make Mac her new pet project.

7) Lucas Jones comes back to town and gets a job at General Hospital as a physical therapist. He reconnects with his cousin Maxie, commiserating over the death of Georgie. He also connects with his big sister Carly. When Milo needs physical therapy to cope with an older injury, he finds himself attracted to a guy for the first time in his life. But Milo is not the only one in town who has is eye on the handsome new employee at GH.

8) Ethan and Kristina impulsively get married after he receives his cut of the Quartermaine money but he finds himself feeling left out when Kristina starts attending Port Charles University, along side Dillon Quartermaine who has returned to Port Charles. He keenly feels his lack of education compared to Kristina but doesn't know what to do about it.  Kristina assures him that she loves him exactly the way that he is, but he worries that he can't compete with the Taylor's and Dillon's of the world. The only way he thinks he can compete is by having money. He gets involved in a series of underground high stakes poker games. Initially he wins several but then he gets into deep.

If I Were the Head Writer: General Hospital

Last night I went out with some friends and we started riffing about what we would do if we were head writers on a daytime soap.  We all know that people are predicting the end of the daytime drama for various reasons, but we believe the genre can still be saved, that it has a lot of life still in the engine.  I'm aware that being a Head Writer is more than just coming up with a story arc for the coming months, they also have to work closely with the Executive Producer and also with the network to get their vision or as close to it as they possibly can on the screen.  Particularly nowadays when the money is just not there the way it used to be even ten years ago. Still we couldn't help playing armchair Head Writer.  These blog posts will be solely on the ABC soaps, since I've been an ABC daytime girl ever since I first discovered ALL MY CHILDREN when I was seven, while home from school with the chickenpox.  I have dabbled over the years with the other shows on both NBC and CBS, but I always come home to ABC, especially now that AS THE WORLD TURNS has been cancelled.  As a fan of the genre for over 35 years, I feel that I have a good handle on what makes classic daytime drama, and I would hope that the networks would listen to the fans.  Some shows do (Days of Our Lives) and some don't (they feel that the fans harsh their flow as creators).  Perhaps some head writers have just been doing the job too long and the shows need fresh blood to keep the genre going instead of recycling the same headwriters among the 6 shows that are left.  Seriously, my friends and I in an hour, came up with at least 15 storylines for GENERAL HOSPITAL alone.  Here are just a few of them.

The first thing I would do as the new head writers for GENERAL HOSPITAL would be to kill off Sonny Corinthos.  Since I'm pretty sure that Brian Frons would not let me do that, then I would create a special one off week of episodes based on Agatha Christies's classic mystery MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS.  At the end of the week, it would turn out that everyone killed Sonny because he's ruined so many lives over the past 17 years on this show.

Have Sonny go to jail: Since I can't kill off Sonny Corinthos or recast him with Vincent Irizarry, then Sonny has to go to jail. Enough with everyone else being punished for his crimes.  It's just not enough to say that Sonny is tortured by his life of crime, let's see him pay for it.  No more "Sonny can't go to jail because he's claustrophobic" or "Sonny will never survive in jail because people will try to kill him."  Guess what, he's walking around free, and people are trying to kill him! Let's see Sonny try to deal being behind bars.  They can bring back crazy Anthony Zacchara, and Lanie can volunteer to be the prison psychiatrist.  (We joked about Blackie Parrish, last played by John Stamos as being one of the prisoners since the poor guy has been in prison for the past 26 years!).

Play family relationships.  That's the big problem with this show.  Why is Lulu the only Spencer that Carly ever talks to, unless Lucky is coming to arrest Sonny? Why not have Jax working with Tracy and the Quartemaines on a project, which would bring Luke into Carly's orbit? Perhaps Michael could get a job on the Haunted Star? This show is so lame that they don't even mention anymore that one of the reasons why Jason continues to protect Michael is because Michael is his nephew.  Michael treats Jason more like a family friend then a relative. And why hasn't Mike invited Dante over for dinner to get to know him.  Oh that's right, we don't even know where Mike lives! Is it at Kelly's? Or in Sonny's guest house. Come to think of it when was the last time Mike and Sonny has a scene together? What was the point of bringing on Maya or Brook Lynn if they are never played with the Quartermaines.  Don't even get me started on the fact that none of the Quartermaines ever visited Jason and Michael in Pentonville. And where is Bobbie? Her grandson goes to prison, her daughter gives birth to her new granddaughter and she's missing in action. Apart from Robin and Maxie remembering that they are cousins, family relationships suck on this show for the most part.

Let's see Elizabeth's parents.  It's hard to believe that Elizabeth Webber has been on General Hospital for the past 15 or so years, and we have yet to see Jeff Webber and his unnamed wife show up to visit their daughter or their three grandchildren.  Yet, they brought back Rick Springfield to play Noah Drake and gave him not one but two sons.  Jeff Webber is Steve Hardy's son, his son Steven Lars Webber is now chief of staff, let's see this guy.  If Richard Dean Anderson is not available, then recast. Oh, and remember that Monica is also Jeff's ex-wife while you are at it. Perhaps now Elizabeth can deal with her issues, how she's been trying to create the perfect family because she never had one. Which is why she held on to her relationship with Lucky for son long.

Get rid of the dead weight.  Sorry Jason Cook, but it's time for you to get your walking papers.  The character of Matt Hunter has been on this show for two years simply because Jason Cook and Kirsten Storms once played Shawn and Belle on DAYS OF OUR LIVES.  They have no chemistry anymore, and they never even play him with his brother Patrick.  While you are at it, take Spinelli with you. Spinelli was a fun quirky character like Max and Milo, but now he's annoying in the extreme.

Address whether or not Michael was sexually assaulted in prison.  I find it bizarre in the extreme that they are continuing to dance around this.  Sexual assault in prison is not an uncommon thing. Since Michael is having issues with intimacy, being touched, and sex, let's just put it out in the open.  Have Michael wonder if he somehow invited it, despite everyone's assertion that Carter only attacked him because of Franco. Let him articulate the fact that he might be worrying that he's no gay because of it. My preference would be to have Michael and Kristina find comfort in each other. I know it's a little FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC but Michael and Kristina are not related by blood and they didn't grow up together, so if their feelings became a little inappropriate, I say let's go there. They have both been hurt, physically and emotionally.  There could be lots of juicy fall out from the two of them falling for each other.  If ABC got a little skittish about that, then how about Brook Lynn getting back at Carly by seducing Michael? They are also related but they're something like second or third cousins, so it wouldn't be that gross.

Make the Balkan Caesar Faison:  They keep talking about this mysterious gangster called The Balkan.  Why not make it a blast from the past and have it be Caesar Faison.  They can even bring Robert Scorpio and Anna Devane back into town to help neutralize Faison, since they are both former WSB agents and would know how to deal with international criminals better than Dante or Lucky.  Faison also has history with Luke Spencer. While I'm at, I would rewrite history again and have Ethan turn out to be Robert and Holly's son and not Luke's, giving Robin a much needed sibling.

Mine characters backstory for plot: We know that Robin spent years in Paris but we have no idea what she was doing there.  Here's an idea, bring Bianca over from ALL MY CHILDREN on a business trip to get Jax to invest in Fusion and to get more advertising for the Fusion in Crimson.  While she's in town we learn that Robin and Bianca knew each other in Paris, and in fact once had a relationship.  Bianca can even joke about how she seems to have a fatal attraction to straight women.  Patrick can feel all threatened by the fact that his wife was once bi-curious, and wonders whether now that they are seperated, she might be tempted to hook up with Bianca again.

Play more characters together instead of isolating them. Remember the days when Sonny and Jax used to attend the Quartermaine board meetings since they owned stock? When we used to see Amanda Barrett? Why not have Jax and Sonny involved more with the hospital which would give them an excuse to go to board meetings with the Quartermaines. Why is that Port Charles seems to be the only soap that doesn't have a newspaper or a television station?

Make the women stronger:  Just recently Claire Walsh, the federal prosecutor, who was brought to town by Jax to take down Sonny, became yet another woman to succumb to Sonny Corinthos's charms. In fact pretty much everyone woman in town apart from Diane Miller thinks Sonny is a great guy.  This needs to stop, we need to see strong women on this show, not crazy.  Carly, Lulu, Laura, Elizabeth, and Alexis have all spent time at Shady Brook. What does Alexis do? Wasn't she working with Diane? Some of the best scenes on the show are when Carly is at work at the Metrocourt or when we see Maxie and Lulu working at Crimson.

Nikolas is a Cassadine:  For years, we've been hearing from Helena about how Nikolas is the Cassadine Prince and what great responsibility it is to be a Cassadine but what does that mean? Who are the Cassadines? Why are they so important? Are they related to the Russian and Greek royal families.  One thing the writers forget is that Mike Corbin (Corinthos) is also Greek. Could the Corinthos family and the Cassadine's come from the same island? Let's see what it means to be a Cassadine besides having a grandmother who keeps trying to kill the women he loves.  I would love to see Helena take on Brook Lynn (actually my dream triangle was Edward Quartermaine, Audrey Hardy and Helena Cassadine.  Why not now make it Edward, Leslie Webber, and Helena Cassadine? Then Tracy can freak out about her father dating again. We'll just forget that whole Heather Webber storyline where she married Jed Allen's Edward).

Anatomy of a Character: Sonny Corinthos

I have been a long time viewer of General Hospital although over the years the character of Sonny Corinthos has slowly taken over the show until there is hardly enough time for storylines for anyone else. Sonny was first introduced in 1993, as the owner of a strip club, who introduced Karen to drugs. He then became involved with Brenda Barrett and his character took off. Over the years Sonny has been involved and impregnated it seems like every single female character on the show apart from Monica and Epiphany. Over the years, his back story has slowly been revealed. His father Mike Corbin, a compulsive gambler, deserted the family. Sonny and his mother were abused by his stepfather Deke, who was a cop, leading to his hatred of law enforcement and his life of crime. Since he's been on the show, he's slept with a mother and a daugher (at different times and they didn't know they were mother and daughter) and impregnated them both. He had hate sex with his second wife Carly Benson (apparently Sonny feels that he is immune to any veneral disease and never wears a condom, despite witnessing the death of Stone Cates from AIDS). He deserted the so-called love of his life twice, once on their wedding day.

Now Sonny's daughter Kristina Davis has been beaten up by her boyfriend Kiefer and she has blamed someone else for it. Her daughter's abuse has brought up memories of his mother's and his own abuse by his stepfather Deke. The story of Deke's abuse has been used to excuse why Sonny can't go to prison, because his stepfather locked him in a closet while his mother has been abused. What kills me is how many of the characters go along with his claiming that he would never survive prison because he's claustrophobic, as if that's a good excuse not to imprison someone.

What the show hasn't addressed is how someone has been abused, can turn into an abuser. In Sonny's case, while he may not use his fists to abuse women, he certainly is verbally and emotionally abusive to them. In Sonny's world, women are either saints (his mother, his late wife Lily) or whores (pretty much every woman including the mothers of his children). Over the years, viewers have been treated to Sonny treating every woman in his life pretty much like dirt. He's called them whores, bitches, he's thrown them out into the street, he's forced them to marry him. When a woman 'betrays' him like Olivia, Carly, Hannah, Sam, Claudia, he unleashes a string of verbal abuse. Oh, and he shot Carly while she was giving birth to their son Morgan. Yes, it was an accident but still. Before he unleashes his verbal attacks, he usually has consumed a great deal of alcohol. As well as being verbal abusive, he's unfaithful (usually choosing to sleep with his women in the bed he shares with his wife), he even changed the name of the child he lost while the mother was in a coma.

Yet his verbal abuse has never been addressed by the writers. They've made him bi-polar to reflect his portrayer Maurice Bernard's own illness, but that storyline has been completely dropped apart from a few remarks occasionally about how he's taking his medication. Sonny's daughter Kristina witnessed his verbal attack on Claudia at a birthday party which he had thrown for her. Her mother, Alexis has made bad choices in men, but it's her relationship with her father and how he treats women which probably led her to stay with Kiefer despite the fact that this was not the first time that he's abused her.

The show holds Sonny up as a good father, despite the fact that he's a career criminal, which is absurd. He may love his kids but he is not a good father. Over the past 17 years, his children have been kidnapped by various psychos, they've been shot and put in a year long coma, and they have almost no idea of right and wrong. Kristina ran from a hit and run accident (which claimed the life of Sonny's most recent unborn child) and never took responsiblity for her actions. His son Michael has already shot one woman by accident and killed another. Sonny is taking the blame for the murder his son committed, which the audience is supposed to see as a father sacrificing himself for his child, but Sonny is convinced that he will get off, so how is this a sacrifice?

Now Kristina has been the victim of abuse and lied about her abuser. When she told her father who beat her, Sonny's immediate response was to threaten to kill the guy! No wonder his children are screwed up. My fervent wish would be for the show to really examine how Sonny's choices and the way he treats women has affected his daughter, but that's probably a lost cause, since Sonny is considered a hero by the show's writers.