Book review: China Dolls

A debut novel about three Chinese-American 20-somethings pursue careers and Mr. Right in ultracompetitive New York City. Alex, Lin and M.J. have been friends since they met in school as kids, studying the Chinese language, and, as the book opens, none of them are married, and each is feeling pressure from her immigrant parents to move to the next stage in life. The women's desires, predictably, differ from their parents'.

This is the premise for China Dolls by Michelle Yu & Blossom Kan. The stand-out character for me in this book was M.J., a sportswriter in a male-dominated field who wants to break into on-air reporting. She's a tomboy who prefers to wear jeans and a ponytail to dresses and high heels. She has a good friend Ming who is also a sportswriter who constantly excoriates her for dating white guys. She meets an old high school flame and thinks that her life is changing for the better, only to realize that he hasn't changed much, and sometimes you can't go home again. Frankly, the whole book could have been about this character and I would have been happy. I was eager to learn more about this character, to see her struggles getting interviews against other male colleagues, I was even intrigued by the fact that she was in a sense competing with her boyfriend, but her section ended abruptly and too fast.

The other characters of Alex and Lin were little more than ciphers for me. Alex seemed to be just an angry Asian woman, and Lin was pretty much a doormat, which I found strange since she was such a high-powered stockbroker. Their stories are also pretty much glossed over and tied up neatly. I also found that all three characters pretty much had the same plot line, while there was much talk about how hard it was to be an Asian woman, there were precious few examples in the book.

Having booked as an assistant for investment banks for over 20 years, I know what a frat boy mentality exists, but what happened with Lin, to me smacked of a sexual harrassment lawsuit waiting to happen. I just found her too passive, I would have loved to have seen her sue the pants of Drew and hire Alex to do it.

Still I enjoyed reading about different perspective on chick-lit. I loved reading about the different customs, and the visit to the fortune teller in the first scene. It gave readers a different view of the New York that seems so familiar from Sex and the City.

Although Alex, Lin, and MJ are Asian, their struggles are universal. I look forward to reading the next book from Michelle and Blossom.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Interesting Horoscopes

libra: air signs are beyond clever. you are the most charming of the airs, with nary a bad word for anyone unless they've done you a serious wrong. then tact be damned. get it off your chest; rip the critics a new one.

scorpio: soon your patience and talent will give you the bonanza you deserve. jupiter in sadge shouldn't go by( lasts until dec. of this year) without rewarding you. if you are new to this business, you'll get your first deal. if an old hand, then your contract will be the biggest and best ever.

I sincerely hope the last one comes true. I've been working my butt off and I'm getting a little tired of being able to wallpaper my room with rejection letters. However, instead of sitting around moping, I have two new projects that I'm working on. One, is a continuation of a series of YA books I've been writing, the other that I've mentioned briefly is a romantic trilogy.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

EKM

P.S. Ooh, I had two minor celebrity sightings this week. Yummy Bradley Cooper from Alias and Kitchen Confidential and Paul Blackthorne from 24 and the Dresden Chronicles. I saw them both when I went to the theater this weekend.

Reading Fables

I've been having the blah's recently. I don't want it is, but I'm having a hard time finding the motivation to write. Maybe it's all the rejection letters that I've been wracking up lately. It's not that I don't have ideas. I have plenty of them. I've just having a hard time picking one. Last year, I wrote two complete manuscripts, and two partials. This year, so far, all I've done is revise one manuscript. I need to start something soon. I just don't know what.

In the meantime, I’ve been searching out new books to read. When I write, I have a tendency not to read within the genre that I’m writing. I’m so afraid that I’ll inadvertently borrow a plot point or a turn of phrase that I just don’t read them. Consequently, I have a huge TBR pile growing in my office of books that I’ve been meaning to get to for the past three years. That includes all the books that I’ve gotten at the last three RWA conferences that I’ve attended.

I’ve always been a huge reader, ever since I was a kid, but every now and again, I have the blahs where I pick up books and turn them over, and nothing grabs me. That’s when it’s time for me to seek out a book in a genre that I don’t often read, or possibly an author that I haven’t read in awhile.

Just recently, I’ve gotten really into reading graphic novels. For me, it’s the perfect combination of story and pretty pictures. I happened to stumble on a series of graphic novels written by Bill Willingham called Fables just because it was recommended to me on Amazon.com. Hey, it turns out it might be a good idea to pay attention to those recommendations! Fables are set in New York City, in a section called Fabletown. All the fairytales or fables that we grew up reading as kids have been forced to leave their mythical homelands when they were taken over by the Adversary.

Every fairytale character that you can think of turns up in the various volumes of Fables, but it’s what Bill Willingham does with the characters that is so clever and delicious. Without giving anything away, Prince Charming is not so charming after all. He has a little faithfulness problem, leading to his divorces from not only Snow White, but also Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. The Big Bad Wolf from The Three Little Pigs and Little Red Riding Hood is now the Sheriff of Fabletown and Snow White is the deputy mayor.

She's definitely not the Snow White from the Disney cartoon that's for sure. She's got a hard edge, after finding Prince Charming in bed with her sister. And she's spent the past several hundred years feeling bitter about it.

There are eight volumes in the series, and I’ve already glommed onto all but the last two (thanks to the auspices) of the New York Public Library. Each volume is written in a different style. The first volume, Legends in Exile, sets up the story and is written in the style of a Film Noir, dealing with the disappearance and possible death of Snow White’s sister Rose Red.

What makes the series so awesome, is that you can read it on two levels, one just the sheer enjoyment of the stories, but also as an allegory of war and the toll it takes. Fables is just one example of the sheer wealth of stories that are available in graphic novel form. Neil Gaiman has the popular Sandman graphic novels, and Alan Moore with the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (much better than the crappy movie) and From Hell.

Now authors like Meg Cabot and Sherrilyn Kenyon are now writing original stories for graphic novels, and Laurel K. Hamilton, author of the Anita Blake series has had her novels adapted in graphic novel form. Not to mention the Harlequin Manga series.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Category Blues

I began reading romances since the age of eleven, when I first discovered Harlequin Presents. I read them because they were mostly set in England (apart from Janet Dailey’s books), and featured alpha male heroes. Of course, at the time, I had no idea what an alpha male was. I just knew that part of me enjoyed the fact that the men were so dominating, while the budding feminist in me, wondered why the heroines didn’t just tell the hero where to stick it. Some of my favorite authors were Anne Mather and Carole Mortimer.

Then I discovered Dell Candlelight Ecstasy and Silhouette romances (when they were being published by Simon & Schuster). This was back in the eighties, what I like to call the ‘Golden Age’ of category romances, because you had so many choices. Bantam was publishing Loveswept, and Berkley had Second Chance at Love. Nora Roberts, Barbara Delinsky, Jayne Ann Krentz and Sandra Brown were all published in category.

I used to buy 25 to 30 books a month in the category lines, but then slowly but surely, lines ended. First Dell Candlelight Ecstasy, then Second Chance, and finally Loveswept. Others like Precious Gems and the Kensington category line were barely blips on the radar, although they did give authors like Tracey Kelleher and Barbara Daly their starts.

But I’ve realized recently that I don’t read many category romances anymore, unless I know the author like our own Anna DePalo, Kathleen O’Reilly and Barbara Gale. Every month, I go into the book store, and I head to the romance section to look through that month's offerings from Harlequin/Silhouette. I've read through the reviews in RT, and checked out the eHarlequin web-site and every month, I don't buy anything unless it's an author I know, or I find an intriguing plot. But that doesn't happen often.

Maybe it's the titles on the covers of Silhouette Desire and Harlequin Presents, the Baron's Billionaire Baby or the Pregnancy of Revenge (how do you have a pregnancy of revenge?). Maybe it's all the Sheik books, or brooding continental Europeans, but they just don't appeal to me anymore. Not even the books from Harlequin Blaze float my boat. I also have a problem with heroines getting pregnant from unprotected sex, or being blackmailed into marriage.

I've never read a NEXT novel, and I only read the Bombshells by certain authors. The only Nocturnes I've read have been by authors I know.

Recently, however, I read a category romance that I picked up in England called BEING A BAD GIRL, that I really loved by an American author, Julie Cohen, who lives in the UK. It took the two stereotypes, the good girl who wants to be a bad girl, and the hero who turns out to be pyschologist and made them fresh. Marianne just wants to stop living up to other people's expectations, not realizing that she had the power within her to make changes, and Oz gets in touch with the reckless side that he's supressed since he's helped raise his younger siblings. For once, I felt that here were two characters who actually talked to each other, and the misunderstandings came from not listening, not from anything contrived.

This is the second Julie Cohen book that I've read, and I plan on purchasing the others from Amazon.co.uk or the Eharlequin UK site.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

What the heck is going on?

I'm away from the internet for like two days, and what happens? Britney Spears shaves all her hair off! Yes, people, after checking herself in and out of rehab, girlfriend went into a barbershop and demanded that a stylist shave all her hair off.

I knew that Mercury in retrograde did weird things but this is just the weirdest. First, like four guys are claiming that they fathered Anna Nicole Smith's baby, including Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband who now claims that he had a ten year affair with Anna, and then her half-sister claims that no, Anna impregnated herself with her late husband's sperm!

I just wish they would let the poor misguided woman rest in peace. She had just lost her son, her dreams of becoming a huge star didn't turn out quite the way that she planned, and now this. I'm not even sure who I think should get custody of the baby, but I do think Dannielynn should at least be given to Howard Stern's sister, or someone not related to the case, like a foster parent. Someone with no vested interest in whether or not that little baby is going to inherit millions.

And Britney? She needs to go back to rehab, because the girl has some serious problems. She needs Courtney Love and Whitney Houston do an intervention or something. Where's Madonna when you need her?

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Feeling Good!

I pulled a sickie yesterday, after working 2 nights in a row at my night job until almost two o'clock in the morning. I managed to sleep until 9 a.m. and then I took off for my hair appointment at Ouidad. If you have curly hair like mine, Ouidad is the mecca for us. The salon is also very expensive. We're talking like 4 Supercuts for the price of one. But my hair looks great, and the stylist Alina actually managed to cut my hair the way that I've always wanted it. So now, of course, I'm hooked. Plus, I got the deep conditioning treatment because my hair was fried, from all the hair care products, and coloring my hair every two months. So the hair cut, the conditioning treatment, plus the haircare products I had to buy (and they didn't twist my arm either) means that I won't be eating sushi for a couple of weeks.

I've also continued querying for my YA novels. I just shot out two queries today, and got partial requests, so I'm psyched. I'm going to put the rejection that I got on Wednesday (yes, Valentine's Day) behind me and move forward. Like the email said, there are lots of agents out there that I haven't yet queried.

Last night, I went to a lovely book party for the China Dolls authors, Michelle Yu and Blossom Kan at an art gallery way the hell over near the highway in Chelsea. It was freezing last night which made the walk particularly unpleasant but I looked great with my new hair, and a slamming red sweater dress from Victoria's Secret. Had two delicious apple lychee martinis, and chatted with the lovely Kwana Jackson, Marley Gibson, and her husband Mike, my future web master.

We then headed over to Half-King, which is this groovy pub on 23rd street and 10th. The fish and chips were awesome. If you're ever in New York, I would definitely head over there. Now tonight, I'm heading out at 10:00 p.m. to meet a friend to see the musical episode of Buffy at the IFC Center. They do a Buffy sing-a-long night, which I'm looking forward to, and tomorrow I'm having a day spa experience.

Since Mercury is in retrograde, I'm taking this time to work out the kinks in my books, and to really make sure that I plot out my new series before I start writing.

Have a great President's Day weekend!

EKM

HVD!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

May this day – and all your days -- be full of love. --EKM

What's Going On?

I'm sure all you people out in blogland and the world at large are wondering, what happened to Elizabeth? She used to blog regularly with pithy and witty posts about life in New York.

Well, sorry the well is dry right now. I'm still revising my YA for submission to the manuscript critique service and busy sending out queries before Mercury goes into retrograde tomorrow. I'm still plotting my new trilogy which I want to start work on once Mercury is out of retograde. Oh, and I now have a DVR, meaning that not only is the picture clearer on my TV set, but I can now record a show on one channel and watch a show on a different channel.

I recorded the new version of Dracula which I already know is going to piss me off because it takes huge liberties with the book. Like implying that Lucy's fiance has syphillis and that's why he needs Dracula to bite him, as a cure. I'm also back to taping my soap now that I can actually watch it in color.

We're moving floors tomorrow at my job which is annoying because this is the second move in the year and a half since I've been at my job. Two of my group are out, so guess who has to pack up their stuff? Me, of course. I'm not looking forward to it, not the least because it takes away from my writing time.

Can I just say that while I like Extreme Makover: Home Edition, Ty Pennington gets on my last nerve? I used to like him on Trading Spaces, but now he just sucks up the air on Extreme Makeover. And I hate when he tries to get all symphathetic and stuff with the families. It just looks so fake.

Well, that's it for today. We're due snow tomorrow. Sweet!

EKM

Dialects, too much or too little?

Sorry, I've been such a bad blogger. I'm revising my first YA trying to get in shape before I sent it to the manuscript critique service that I've used before. Bev Katz Rosenbaum, who wrote 'I was a teenage popsicle' does fantastic critiques. I'm kind of excited yet trepidatious to see what she's going to say about the manuscript. Still, I want to get it in the best shape possible before I send it off.

I've already shaved off about ten pages out of the manuscript, but the last 60 pages of the manuscript need alot of tweaking. I can't believe that I actually sent this off to an agent now that I've re-read it. Three of my characters in Crazy Little Thing Called Love are foreign, Theo is Greek, Penny is English and Demetrius, who is also Greek, was sent to school in England. So, I'm very conscious as I go through the manuscript that their voices are distinctive compared to my American characters.

I was thinking about this tonight when I went to the Strand Bookstore to kill time before I went to work. I love the Strand, 3 floors of books all just waiting to be read and bought. Downstairs, among the review paperbacks, I found a book by a well-known chick-lit author, who's new book is partially set in Ireland. As I flipped through the book, I was kind of appalled at the writing for the Irish characters.

It was all written in the worst kind of dialect imaginable. Lucky Charms leprechaun Irish. Words were spelt like 'cawl' for 'call' and 'forst' for 'first.' But the worst was that the love interest kept saying 'yiz'. It made me wonder if the author had ever read a Marian Keyes book or any Irish author. Not even John Millington Synge wrote dialogue that was as appalling as what I read in this novel. She thanks a woman who she says helped her with the Irish portions, but obviously the help wasn't great. And this wasn't the first time I'd noticed this tendency. She had a character in her last book who was West Indian who sounded like a Madame Cleo clone.

It reminded me of Nicolas Cage's bad Italian accent in Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

On the other hand, I just read a review of a book, where the reviewer felt that she didn't get enough of the hero's Scottish accent. It's a real toughie when it comes to how to convey that a character speaks with an accent without relying on cliches.

I have a character in my second YA who is French Canadian, and I work with a guy who's French Canadian, so I'm very careful to listen to how he speaks. I've also thought of throwing in a few french words every now and again when he gets stressed or at a loss for words.

Do other people find it hard to write for characters with accents, and what was the worst experience you had reading a book?

Thanks for reading.

EKM

"Dirty Books" I read as a teenager

Entertainment Weekly has a great article up on the 'dirty books' that the staff read as a teenager. The article came about after author, Tina Jordan, was complaining that her teenage daughter was reading The Gossip Girls series. Even though her daughter read another books besides The Gossip Girl series, including alot of literary fiction, Tina wondered what her daughter saw in the books.

This apparently sparked a debate in the office, leading the staff to reminisce about the 'dirty books' they read as a teenager. Most of the usual suspects appeared on the list, including Forever by Judy Blume, the first book written for teens that had an actual sex scene in it. Who can forget Mike naming his penis 'Ralph'? Before that, I had to read adult books if I wanted to learn about sex, like John Jakes, The Bastard and Rich Man, Poor Man, both of which I read in the 6th grade.

My parents were probably unusual in that they never censored what I read. I think they were just so happy to have a child that loved reading. Not to mention the fact that I was already reading on a college level by the time I was ten. So when I used my allowance to buy books like Rich Man, Poor Man or anything by Helen Van Slyke or Taylor Caldwell, they didn't say anything.

I mean, I read books that were age appropriate also. All of Madeleine L'Engle, Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie, but I have ADD when I read, so I was always dipping into 2 or 3 books at a time. I had to get permission to use the Upper School library, because I'd read everything in the Lower School library by the time I was ten.

The only time that my parents ever said anything to me about what I read was when my father caught me reading Harold Robbins, The Pirate, and then he just wanted to know if my mother knew that I read such books. I told him she loaned it to me! In fact, Sweet Savage Love, the first historical romance I ever read, I borrowed from my mother. It's where I learned that men went down to Brazil in a manner of speaking. I was almost more embarrassed that my mother had read it!

The article also mentioned Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews. Now that was totally a dirty book. If you haven't read it, you might want to take a shower afterwards. Four kids are locked in an attic by their grandmother, after they come to live with her when their father dies. Their mother just goes off and leaves them with her. You learn later it's because their mother married her Uncle or something like that, which sort of foreshadows the fact that Chris and his sister end up falling in love and doing the nasty.

I'm not ashamed to admit I learned alot about male/female relations from these books. They were very informative, when you consider that my mother was still trying to pass off the cabbage patch theory of childbirth to me when I was ten. This was after I had already learned the facts of life in school!

If it weren't for Are You There God, It's Me Margaret, I would totally have been unprepared for when it hit puberty. (Wasn't that a funny scene in Talladega Nights, when Michael Clarke Duncan is reading the book to Will Ferrell?).

Thank god, for 'dirty books'! They certainly made my adolescence that much more interesting!

EKM

Finally some good news!

No, I haven't sold a book or gotten an agent, but there is still some good news to be had in the world, and I'm not just talking about the fact that Ilan Hall beat Marcel Vigneron on Top Chef.

The good news is that the final Harry Potter book will be out this July 21st, and yours truly has already pre-ordered her copy to be delivered hot off the press by Amazon.com on the day of. Ever since the 4th Harry Potter, I have pre-ordered my copies from Amazon and they arrive bright and early on the morning the book comes out right into my hot little hand.

I just hope that this book isn't as thick as the last two because I almost broke my foot reading the last one when it dropped on it by accident. Although since is the very last one (and I'm holding JK Rowling to this), it'll probably weigh a ton. I'll just have to remember not to read it in the bathroom (Hey, I read in the tub!).

Can't wait to read it but it will be very sad because it'll be the penultimate book. I just hope she doesn't kill off Harry, Ron or Hermione. It was bad enough she killed you know who in the last one.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Oh My God, Look at Harry Potter!

Goodness gracious! Harry Potter is kind of hot! How did that happen? I feel kind of dirty just looking at them. I mean he's only 17, and he's got a bod that David Beckham would envy. These are pics from the new production of the play Equus which Daniel Radcliffe is about to star in, in London.

There's a nude scene, people, in this play. Harry Potter is going to be starkers on stage!

Did I mention that I feel kind of dirty?

Forging Ahead

So, I got to work this morning and had another rejection letter, this time from an agent I had done a rewrite for on my partial of my first YA, Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Yet another 'great' rejection letter. She told me that she thought that I had great concepts and great writing but she didn't 'love' the book, and she had a problem with one of the characters, who admittedly is a bit of a brat. She did however ask me to submit something else I'd written so I'm submitting a partial of my other YA.

I've also gotten 2 requests and one rejection from my email queries yesterday. And I'm taking the step of sending my partials to a manuscript critique service. I've done this before and it's been helpful. Right now, I'm too close to the writing to see what needs to be fixed. And I really need to take my writing to the next level. I'm so tired of getting these 'great' rejection letters.

As a very good friend of mine said about all these agents not loving the book. "You're not asking them to marry the book!" She wondered why when all these agents seem to feel that I'm a good writer and have potential, none of them are willing to sign me and work with me. She mentioned the illustrious Janice Dickinson as an example of an agent who has two groups of models in her agency, the A models who are ready to go out on castings and hopefully book work and the B models who are still a little rough and need some work.

Unfortunately, most literary agents are being paid by Oxygen to showcase their agency on TV. They don't have the time anymore to nurture a writer, or at least I haven't found one so far who is willing despite the compliments I'm getting. They want product that only needs a little polishing, that they can send out immediately to editors.

Of course, I'm biased because I think that my series has the potential to reach a wide audience, and since my background is in acting, I can hook-up with any number of companies in New York to present my books along with their Shakespeare workshops.

So, I'm off to send off my partials and to also to send them to a publisher who is just getting into fiction and the YA market.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Spinning on the Merrygo Round

Well, I've just received two more rejections on my YA manuscript. Actually one rejection was for the partials of both my YA manuscripts, so actually I think that makes three. The second rejection actually had some good comments, but it was still a rejection. I'm trying not to be depressed about. I keep remembering that Meg Cabot said that she had a mailbag full of rejections for her books before she finally signed with an agent.

I'm not quite at a mailbag but I've gotten enough to fill a small box. So instead of being depressed and diving into a bar of chocolate or a bottle of champagne, I'm trying to be pro-active. I'm sending out 3 partials to agents, one who had actually requested my first YA but wanted an exclusive, and I've emailed queries to 5 other agents.

Still it's disheartening to still be getting 'good rejection' letters. I'm ready to move on to the, 'love it, let's talk' stage of the game.

I also need to move on and start focusing on a new project, the trilogy that I've been wanting to write. I have the first book almost outlined, and I just need to do some research on the rest. So if you know anyone who's been through basic training in the army, let me know!

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Break Up Mix 2007

I've been working long hours at my night job (last night I didn't get home until 3:40 a.m.), so I've decided to get an Ipod. Yes, I don't have one yet. I'm always like 2 or 3 years behind when it comes to technology. I mean, I just got a cellphone a year ago. Now of course they have the little thin iPod Nano, which comes in red, my favorite color and $10 from each purchase goes to end hunger in Africa, so of course I have to buy one. It's a moral imperative, I'm helping to save the world!

So, I've been thinking about what I'm going to put on said iPod since I have about 1,000 songs on this thing. Apart from the usual suspects (U2, Madonna), I've decided to put on it my Break Up Mix 2007. Here is my list of Break Up Songs that I've planning on downloading.

1. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor (a classic and something of a cliche now but it works)

2. Stronger - Britney Spears (Girl should listen to her own music)

3. Keep Me Hanging On - Kim Wilde (Much better for grrl power than the Supremes version)

4. Treat Me Right - Pat Benatar

5. Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar

6. Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar

7. What Goes Around - Justin Timberlake

8. Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake

9. Bye, Bye, Bye - NYSNC

10. These Boots Are Made for Walkin - Nancy Sinatra (Please God not the Jessica Simpson version)

11. Misunderstood - Robbie Williams

12. My Love Don't Cost a Thing - JLo

13. Not Ready to Make Nice - Dixie Chicks (Not really a break up song per se but I like the lyrics)

14. Nothing Compares to U - Sinead Cusack

15. You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette (another cliche, but still effective)

16. It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want to: Leslie Gore

17. You Don't Own Me - Leslie Gore

18. Do It Right - Nellie Furtado

19. Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word - Elton John

20. MacArthur Park - Donna Summer (This song makes absolutely no sense but something about it appeals to me during a break-up).

Well, that's it for me. For all the singletons out there, what do you listen to after a break up?

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Dancing Fever

I think I mentioned a few weeks ago that I had started taking dance classes. Latin ballroom specifically. It's only been four weeks, but it's probably the best decision that I made for myself all year.

I cannot tell you how much I love dancing. My parents enrolled me in dance classes when I was around 3 at the advice of my pediatrician who thought it might help me develop my arches (I was born with flat feet).

From the beginning, I loved it, particularly ballet. For awhile, I thought I wanted to be a ballet dancer, but puberty betrayed me. At best, I would have been a mediocre corps dancer in a regional company, which is not what I wanted. The corps at ABT yes. Even back then I was incredibly ambitious.

I continued to take dance in college. Syracuse had one of the first musical theater departments in the country, and being in the drama department, I was allowed to take theater dance. Part of the fun of dance in college was that we had to do showcases at the end of the year in front of the whole drama department. People used to do the craziest stuff. Ostensibly we were supposed to take a piece from class and choreograph a beginning and an end to the piece.

Well, people decided to just run with it and add skits and funky music. The two actors who played Elizabeth and John Proctor in The Crucible came out with ropes around their necks and did a dance to 'Hernando's Hideaway' from The Pajama Game. They called their piece 'The Proctors in Hell.' Other people did pieces like 'Four Jews and a Goy in a room.' But the best was a piece that blended Tony Orlando and Dawn's 'Knock Three Times' with Hernando's Hideaway that they called 'Orlando's Hideway'.

The last piece I did with my college roommate, we decided that we were two hookers on 42nd Street corrupting a young girl who comes to the big city to make it big. We did this to a Judy Garland song called 'It Seems to me I've heard that song before.' We dressed in leather miniskirts and skanky tops. It was so cool!

Coming to New York and taking class, I realized that I was only ever going to be an actor who danced. There was no way I could compete with actual dancers for Broadway shows. So I stuck with acting. Occasionally I got to dance on stage, in The Winter's Tale, and the tango in The Misanthrope, but not often.

After ex sweetie-pie moved to LA, I took classes for awhile on and off. I took salsa and merengue, North Caroline shag and Swing dancing. But I think that Latin ballroom is my speed. Doing the rhumba, one of the most romantic dances, and also the cha-cha, are just me.

When I dance, I have no inhibitions. I don't care what I look like on the dance floor, I just let go. It's the freest I've ever been, on stage or off. I'd loved to be able to take the way I feel when I dance and translate it to my writing.

Besides, it helps to have a hobby that doesn't involve drinking!

Thanks for reading.

EKM

Another WFT? Moment

So, I'm watching part one last night of Top Chef, when oh my god, Sam Talbot is eliminated along with Elia at the end of the show.

WTF? Marcel and his Xanthum gum, his foams, and his science project for good is in the finale instead of Sam? Let's forget for a moment that Sam is smoking hot (but he is, look at that body people!), but he was also an amazing chef and had leadership skills.

Like Padma said, so what if Sam last night didn't cook anything. He's cooked in the past. They've eaten his food all season long. Frankly since his food was first up, I would think they would be glad that he served such a light meal.

Has Marcel has no leadership skills. When 14 people dislike you intensely that should tell you something. Unless he plans on hiring all his science foodie friends to cook in his restaurant, he's going to need to take some people skills courses. He reminds me so much of Stephen from last season, the only difference being that Stephen watched the show and realized what a total tool he was all season, and then apologized to one of the other contestants for his behavior. I have a feeling that unless Marcel is hit over the head with a pan, he's never going to change his behavior.

Ilan on the other hand, made it to the finale, just because he used a taro leaf in his cooking, despite the fact that he made the same Spanish fusion dishes that he's made all season. He's never taken any chances with his food, apart from the chocolate covered chicken livers from last week (another WTF moment). And then not only did he encourage Elia to throw Marcel under the bus, but then he just left her hanging out to dry when she did it.

So now we have the most contrived drama on television going down next week. You can't tell me that the producers didn't think to themselves, "hmm, Elia and Sam next week, no drama. Ilan and Marcel in the final two, now there's some television."

Personally, I feel they sacrificed the integrity of the show, in favor of the drama. But the contestants didn't help matters by being the most immature, nasty, egotistical and vindictive group of people in the history of television.

What happened to the cooking? It was all about the egos of the contestants. I've never watched such an unpleasant group of people, and that's saying alot because I've watched Top Model and the Apprentice in the past.

I'd rather be locked in a room with loopy Paula and Simon, then watch the finale next week. Unfortunately I have to for work.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Postscript: I just head that the wonderful Clive Owen has signed to star in and executive produce a series of films playing Philip Marlowe. Cool beans!

My new fake boyfriend

This is Josh Bernstein, my new fake boyfriend, and the host of the History Channel's riveting series, "Digging for the Truth." Think Indiana Jones for the 21st century. Sigh!

JB (as I like to call him) is a graduate of Cornell with a degree in philosophy and anthropology, so he's tres smart as well as cute. He currently is the CEO for BOSS (the Boulder Outdoor Survival School), the first place that I would go if I were thinking of applying for Survivor. Seriously, why apply for a show where you have to sleep in the same clothes for 40 days if you don't know if you can hack it?

JB is 7 years younger than me. He'll be 36 on February 24, making him a Pisces with an Aquarius moon. Perfect for little ole me, who has a Libra Moon. He also has a fraternal twin brother Andrew who also owns a company called Mental Yoga which teaches those who work in the corporate world how to handle stress better. So not only are they cute but they are also entrepreneurial as well.

The only problem with JB is that he is a total outdoorsy kind of guy and I'm a Bloomingdale's camper. Seriously, going to the bathroom out in the woods does not thrill me. I enjoy hiking as long as I can end my hike with a nice glass of pinot grigio and a warm, bubble bath. Now exploring ancient cults and myths I can get into.

My JB is a total alpha male with a beta soul. Seriously he looks rugged but he's got that Tom Selleck voice working for him. You know how Tom Selleck is all rugged and manly, and than he opens his mouth and ruins it? Well that's JB, but I adore him anyway. I don't get to see much of him since he's off filming "Digging for the Truth" but I get to go visit him on location. Of course, I try and get him to book us a nice hotel, and not sleep in a caravan.

He's also written a book about his adventures, and the series is now available on DVD for those who want to experience my JB vicariously while I enjoy him in the flesh. I've promised him that I would write a nice romance adventure book starring the two of us someday.

Well, I'm off to watch Monday's episode again. He's searching for the Lost Civilization of Atlantis and he looks so cute while doing it. I think it's the fedora!

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Academy Awards

Well, the Academy Awards nominations came out today and Dreamgirls was snubbed in several major categories, including Best Picture, Director, Actor and Actress. Truthfully, I'm not surprised, there were so many great movies this year, and performances, that someone was bound to get bumped.

And the truth is, while Dreamgirls was good, it wasn't great. Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson were the stand-outs in the cast, and were deservedly nominated. Beyonce? Pretty and can sing, but she can't act her way out of an evening gown, and Jamie Foxx wasn't that impressive either. Personally, I felt the show lacked some pizazz compared to Chicago.

I was very happy to see that Forest Whitaker and Helen Mirren were nominated. I had the opportunity last Friday to see Forest Whitaker speak at the Film Society of Lincoln Center. He came off as a very sweet and humble guy, although the interviewer had about as much personality as the chair he was sitting in.

Helen Mirren, I've adored as an actor ever since she appeared in The Long Good Friday with Bob Hoskins and Excalibur. What I love is that Meryl Streep, Judi Dench and Helen Mirren are both over 50, and they had amazing roles this year. Judi Dench was phenomenal in Notes on a Scandal, although I found the movie a tad creepy. It just brought back memories of the whole Mary Kay LeTourneau thing. I'm still disgusted that Entertainment Tonight devoted a whole week to her wedding a year ago.

And hurray that this year the Academy nominated a record number of performances by non white actors. The whole disappointment is that Ken Watanabe wasn't nominated for Letters from Iwo Jima.

I still have to see Letters, Venus (with Peter O'Toole), Blood Diamond, and Babel, so that's my goal over the next month before the awards. I have Little Miss Sunshine at home thanks to Netflix. I always try and see as many of the films nominated as possible, if only to win the Oscar betting pool.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Happy Birthday Princess Caroline

Today is the 50th birthday of HRH Princess Caroline of Hanover, aka known as Princess Caroline of Monaco. God, it's hard to believe that Princess Caroline is 50, and she's still gorgeous!

The eldest child of Princess Grace and Prince Rainier, Caroline hasn't always had an an easy life, even for a princess. Her first husband was a sleazy playboy, her second husband died in a horrific power boating accident, leaving her a widow with three children, and her third husband likes to urinate in public.

Seriously, even though she traded up when she married Prince Ernst (he's an HRH and a distant member of the British Royal family, while she was an HSH), Ernie is no prize. He left his wife for her, and he's been known to make racist remarks in public. Ironically, Princess Grace had always wanted Caroline to end up with him. Go figure.

Anywho, since her brother Albert doesn't seem to be in the marrying mood (although he's got several illegitimate children running around), Caroline's oldest son Andrea (who is gorgeous by the way) will end up being Prince of Monaco one day. Unless Albert pulls a Warren Beatty and gets married in his fifties.

Caroline is considered to be the first lady of Monaco, filling in as a hostess at functions since Albert doesn't have a Princess (I volunteer for this position. I even speak French, slightly). She's the head of the Monaco Red Cross, the ballet, the opera, etc. She seems to have settled down from her early days when she used to dance at discos in skimpy outfits.

It's said that Princess Grace didn't live to see that Caroline finally stepped into the role that she was raised for. I think that she would be proud of her daughter.

That's all for today. Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Winter blues!

EKM