Employment Blues

I've been looking for a permanent job ever since my extended period of unemployment during 2003. I've updated my resume several times, and submitted my resume to about 200 different companies. Finally in 2005, my efforts have come to fruition.

So, why am I ambivalent? Well for the past nineteen years, I have been happily working as a temp. Part of the reason I chose the life of a temp, an itinerant worker as it were, was because I was chasing an acting career. It's a little hard to tell your employer that you're leaving town for four months when you have a permanent job. I also had periods of time when I would go off to London for three or four months at a time. One of the few things I regret was not having CSFB arrange a job for me when I had my work permit. I might still be living in England if I had done that. Of course, hindsight and $4.50 will get you a cup of coffee.

Anyway, here I am, 40 years of age and finally thinking about settling down. Possibly fixing up my apartment so that it doesn't look like the worst of the apartments on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Yes, I'm a bit of slob. Also, I haven't been able to afford to do the things that I want to do with the apartment (paint, new linoleum, new bathtub, sink, tiles, new cabinets in the kitchen, new couch, new dining room table, etc.) that I've just done nothing. Part of the reason was I spent more time at my ex-boyfriends then I did at my place, so it really didn't matter what it looked like, I was never there, but I digress.

So, I sent out resumes, and so far I've had 5 job interviews. Yes, 5 out god only knows how many resumes I've sent out there. Finally realized that I didn't update my resume for 2 years on Hot Jobs and Monster, which might explain part of it.

The first job interview was through a friend, working as a meeting planner at a financial publishing company. The interview went well, I was intrigued, but not sure it was a good idea to work for the same company as this person. That turned out to be a good call because when I expressed my doubts about the job, she spilled the beans to her ex-boss, thereby screwing out of the job. So much telling people things in confidence. I hadn't made a decision yet about whether or not I wanted the job, I needed more information, but oh well.

The next job was at a big conglomerate for one of their consumer products divisions. This is a big media company that involves television, movies, and publishing. Just the type of thing that I'm interested in. Great interview, still haven't heard.

Next interview went well, still waiting to meet with the person I'd be actually working for. Have another interview next week on Thursday. Yesterday, had an interview at the investment bank that I worked for last summer. Great interview, they love me, when can I start? Still have no clue about what the salary is, and I can't stand one of the people that I would be working for. Plus, I'd be working for ten to fifteen people, for almost 50 hours a week. I'm ambivalent to say the least.

So what does a girl do when she's in this situation? Why have a Tarot card reading of course. Why make an informed decision based on the facts when you can leave it up to a deck of cards!