Matchmaker, Matchmaker

So, I'm on Match.com. You know the one that Alex Michel, the first Bachelor, is the spokesman for. Although why anyone thought he'd be a good spokesman, is beyond me. 'Hey, I'm too lazy to go back to my real job as a management consultant, so I'll work for Match.com, and this way I'll get to hit on all the hot chicks!'

According to Match.com, my profile has been looked at something like 9,000 times. Do you think 9,000 men have emailed me? No, of course not! Do you think 200 men have emailed? Well, I haven't kept count, but so far I would say a grand total of maybe 50 men have actually taken the time to send me an email. Of the emails, I've received 95% of the men have not paid any attention to what I've written in my profile. Go figure!

What I'd like to know, is how does anyone actually meet anyone from these online services? I mean there must be thousands of profiles. You could spend all day everyday trying to find someone. Granted, Match.com tries to make it easier by offering personality and looks profiles to narrow the search down. Still, it seems like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

I can understand now why alot of couples hook up in college. In college, it's easy. Where I went to school, the university had 9 bars on campus, plus something like 25 fraternities. You couldn't help but hook up. Unfortunately, I didn't find most of the guys I went to college with that attractive. I've always gone for the mature guy, who has a childlike side to him, but who is not a completely stunted emotionally. Hard to find guys like that in college.

Plus, I'm an anglophile, and I really dig British guys. In fact, if they're Scottish they have more than a 99% chance, of at least getting a date with me. If they're actually attractive, witty, have a job, 100% of getting laid.

I can understand now why people go on reality dating shows. Think about it, if you are the Bachelor or Bachelorette, most of the work is done for you. 25 men or women have been carefully prescreened for your dating pleasure. You don't have to make reservations, they're all done for you. Not romantic, not a problem, the producers have fixed that. It's no more a crap shoot trying to find love on television, then it is in a bar on Saturday night.

That said, I won't be sending my photo to ABC. The women of color never last past the first two rounds, and I have no desire to be the token.