well, it's official, i'm man repellent. how did i come up with this diagnosis? Well, exhibit a) i met patrick at ny easy dates, and we got along. i put him on my list of people i would be interested in seeing again. so he emailed me to get together, and i emailed him back to let him know that i work two jobs, and to give him an idea of what my availability was. well that was two weeks, and i'm still waiting to hear from him.
exhibit b) my good friend informed me that a guy i met back in january, that i had seen again at a benefit for her son's school had asked about me when she ran into him at a birthday party. she asked if she could give him my number. i said yes, he's very cute, and he made me laugh. well, he called me that afternoon, i called back and he said 'hey let's get together.' i said, unfortunately i had to work that night but i would call him and let him know what time i would be getting out. as soon as i got my schedule, i called him and left a message informing him that i wouldn't be getting out of work until 11:30 and did he still want to get together?
well, i'm still waiting for that call!
i spoke to one of my co-workers who said that maybe he didn't get the message or was hit by a car. well, if he didn't get the message, i would hope that he would call again to find out what happened (if he was really interested). of course if he was hit by a car, i wouldn't expect him to call and let me know about it.
and finally exhibit c) auction guy or auction ass. this is a guy who despite the fact that i know that he saw me on tuesday at the annual meeting of a society that we both belong to, never made any attempt to say hello to me, even though we have a mutual friend in common. i had to go up to him and practically genuflect to get him to say hello to me.
see what i mean, man repellent.
it's gotten so bad, that today at brunch, a really cute preppy blonde guy sat next to me. not really my type, but still attractive. he ordered white wine and oysters. now, i could have been friendly and talked to him, but i thought what was the point, i'm man repellent. he'd probably just run screaming from the bar, or move his seat to further down the bar.
sigh, i should just give up and get a dog.
thanks for reading!
EKM
3 comments:
I KNOW exactly how you feel. Seriously, as I read your post I thought, This is my life. However, a couple thoughts/pieces of advice.
1)Regarding Guy #2, I'd try him again. Keep it light, i.e., maybe via email if you have his address, and say, "Hey, hope you're having a good week/Monday/whatever day it is. I'm still up for going out sometime soon, so let me know if you'd like to." That way he'll know you're definitely interested, and if he truly is, he'll get back to you.
2)YOU are not the reason these guys don't get back to you. There are myriad other reasons. I'll run a few by you. He had a herpes outbreak. He just had a really bad date with another woman right before you two connected, and he's having a hard time staying "out there." He didn't get the promotion at work he wanted/the project he wanted to work on/his boss told him he's a fuck-up, and now he's depressed. The list could go on and on and on, and none of the reasons are likely related to you. After a discouraging evening trying to strike up a conversation with an attractive guy at a party who was pretty unresponsive, I cried to my therapist much in the same way you lamented in your post. My therapist made me list ten reasons -- none of which could be related to me -- that the guy was unresponsive. Point being that you never know what's going on with someone. And lest anyone out there try to tell you "he's just not that into you," I don't think that philosophy is applicable at this early juncture.
3)Do not give up. You're discouraged, it's disspiriting, etc., but not talking to cute guy at lunch means you're giving up, you're succumbing to hopelessness. I know it well because I live it. But don't do it to yourself.
Hang in there. I'm 39, and I am trying to not lose hope as well. I know it's a big, bad, hard dating world out there, but you have to keep on keeping on. We're both too fabulous to remain undiscovered!
OK, off the soapbox.
{{{{ELIZABETH}}}}
They're not worthy of you.
Thanks for the encouragement you guys. I'm feeling better about the whole thing today, and am moving forward to be more proactive on the dating front. I'm not going to let this get me down. I have too much work to do to be derailed by a few jerks!
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