Killer Dog!

Awww! Isn't he sweet? I just want to take him home and hide my shoes.

EKM

Seperated at Birth?

This is Snow Miser from "A Year Without a Santa Claus"












And this is Leslie Keno, an appraiser from Antiques Roadshow.




Seperated at Birth? What do you think?



Thanks for reading,

EKM

How to humiliate yourself - Part Deux

Hooray, someone else there has humiliated themselves worse than I have! I probably shouldn't be so gleeful, after all my humiliation wasn't beamed into the homes of over millions of CNN viewers, but I couldn't help smiling when I heard about CNN anchor's faux pas.

Apparently, she forgot to turn her mic off when she went to the bathroom. So during President Bush's Hurricane Katrina announcement, viewers could hear her not only unzipping her pants but also talking about how great her husband was, and how her sister-in-law is a control freak among other gems, before someone finally went into the bathroom to let her know her mic was still on.

CNN is trying to defuse the embarrassment by saying that it wasn't her fault, that it was a "technical malfunction".

Right!

All I know is the holidays are going to be awfully uncomfortable this year.

Thanks for reading.

EKM

End of Summer Recap

Wow, the end of summer is rapidly approaching. Next Monday is Labor day, where did the summer go? Although technically fall doesn't start until like September 21 or something, I thought I'd recap what I did this summer:

1) Went to RWA National in Atlanta

2) Went to a strip club for the first time

3) Wrote 2 YA partials

4) Submitted very first YA I wrote to 10 agents

5) Have collected 4 rejections thus far

6) Went to a speed dating event

7) Dated Fun guy

8) Dumped by Fun Guy

9) Went to Chicago for wedding of old friend

10) Started online YA class at Media Bistro

11) Outlined new YA novel for class

12) Read about 20 books

13) Tried to see Scottish play in Central Park with Liev Schreiber and Jennifer Ehle. Got rained out.

14) Joined JDate

15) Cancelled membership in JDate

16) Read depressing memoirs about dating in New York

17) Planned trip to Prague

18) Trip to Prague was cancelled

19) Gave up on Auction guy who turned out to be as big an ass as his friend Fun Guy.

20) Had fun time with London friend, so now going to London in October since Prague trip cancelled.

21) Attended funeral of lovely friend's father.

22) Lost luggage after RWA National conference thanks to incompetence of Continental

23) Reconnected with old high school friend thanks to the wonder of Google.

24) Had dinner with lovely LA friend.

25) Had wonderful time at Diana Peterfreund's book party where I pitched YA trilogy to lovely agent.


Wow, I guess my summer was even busier than I thought it was!

Thanks for reading!

EKM

My 0.02 for what it's worth

So, everyone is up in arms over the new Survivor that's premiering in a few weeks. For anyone who's been under a rock, Mark Burnett had the brilliant idea of seperating the contestants according to race. So we have the African-American team, the Hispanic team, the White team, and the Asian team. My question for him is this, if you have Indian contestants where do they go? The Asian or would they get their own team? I mean really if you're going to seperate people by race, by limit yourself to those for? How about an Eskimo team or a Native American team?

I don't know why anyone expected anything better out of Mark Burnett. This after all is the man who admitted that if Erika Vetrini had called Omarosa the "N" word as Omarosa claimed, he would have aired it. A man who prides himself on being politically incorrect. You know, because he's European and all. He also made the statement that he'd noticed that alot of people in this country only socialize within their own ethnic group. I'm not going to argue with him about that by stating that I personally socialize among a wide range of people, because I'm sure that in the heartland that's probably the case. But you know I don't have alot of Muslim friends, so does that mean Mark Burnett should divide the tribes along religious lines as well?

Whatever you may think about this whole idea, you have to admit that Mark Burnett is a brilliant marketer. Survivor has been on the air for 6 years now, the ratings are falling, they haven't come up with an outsize personality lately like Rupert, Johnny Fairplay or Richard Hatch. Shows like Amazing Race and Project Runway are gaining momentum. Even The Apprentice is losing ground (that may have more to do with the fact that Donald Trump is an acquired taste).

So what do you do to get people interested in your show for it's 13th season? Play the race card. The biggest hot topic in America right now, particularly in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina (see all the articles regarding the racist attitudes towards the black citizens of New Orleans who are still waiting to have their homes repaired). Remember Kanye West's statement that GB doesn't care about black people? And Barbara Bush's comment about the people who'd been evacuated in the Astrodome in Houston not leaving?

Without realizing it, Mark Burnett has opened the door to American's talking about race if only to chastize him.

So kudos to Mark Burnett. I still won't watch Survivor. I'd rather knaw off my own foot before I turn the channel to 2 at 8 p.m. on a Thursday night. But hey that's just me.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

How to humiliate yourself - 21st Century edition

Okay, how many people ever drunk-dialed an ex? Raise their hands!

Well now thanks to the technology of text-messaging, you can embarrass yourself without even having to talk to the person. Yes, I'm talking about TWI, aka texting while intoxicated. I have many DWI violations (dialing while intoxicated) but last night I hit a new low when I text-messaged Fun Guy to find out what the hell had gone wrong.

I know, I know, I should have left well enough alone. I mean he's all wrong for me but we have this sexual chemistry. Astrologically speaking, it's all there. It's like a scary obsession or something. We're in Red Shoes Diary territory. So there I was at AquaGrill drinking a very nice Muscadet, the same restaurant Fun Guy and I had been to several weeks ago, when I couldn't help myself and my fingers did the walking.

Of course, you know, nothing good could come of this. Does it ever? I've found out exes have been engaged through drunk dialing, I once begged ex-sweetie pie to tell me why he wouldn't marry me once while drunk dialing. See, someone should have said, "Put the phone down and slide it over." And basically confiscated it until I sobered up.

First of all, he didn't even know who the text message was from. Isn't that special? He'd already deleted me from his phone. Okay, so I deleted first, but still, you'd think he'd recognize the number! But I think it was the "Uggh, actresses," part that really tipped it for me. Please, tell me that I deserve better, or tell me that I have halitosis, but don't use the fact that I was once an actress to condemn me for wanting answers! I hate that shit.

This is the reality of dating in New York. There are so few decent guys, that we can convince ourselves that someone who isn't fit to wipe our shoes, is somehow our soul-mate.

The good news? I can actually use this in the YA novel that I'm writing right now. I mean come one, some kid must have dumped a girl via text message. I can't be the only one. Oh, and I also signed up for another speed dating event. So there is a silver lining, I guess.

Oh, and it would make one hell of a Black Lace book!

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Slave to Sensation

I am participating in a blogging experiment hosted at dearauthor.com. To enter the contest, put up this blurb, image, and trackback and you are entered to win the following prize package.

$200 Amazon gift certificate
Signed copy of Slave to Sensation
New Zealand goodies chosen by Singh
ARC of Christine Feehan's October 31 release: Conspiracy Game
You can read about the experiment here and you can download the code that you need to participate here.

SLAVE TO SENSATION
Nalini Singh
Berkley / September 2006















Welcome to a future where emotion is a crime and powers of the mind clash brutally against those of the heart.

Sascha Duncan is one of the Psy, a psychic race that has cut off its emotions in an effort to prevent murderous insanity. Those who feel are punished by having their brains wiped clean, their personalities and memories destroyed.

Lucas Hunter is a Changeling, a shapeshifter who craves sensation, lives for touch. When their separate worlds collide in the serial murders of Changeling women, Lucas and Sascha must remain bound to their identities…or sacrifice everything for a taste of darkest temptation.

Excerpt

Real Estate Porn - Chicago Edition

Okay, as anyone who reads this blog knows, I'm totally into Real Estate porn. I read the Sunday New York Times real estate section religiously. I surf new building websites, and sites like Corcoran and Douglas Elliman. I've even surfed websites in London (for the day that I when Megamillions and I move), but now I've found a new city to focus on: Chicago.

See, I'm a member of the Art Deco Society here in New York, and there was a link on their site to the Chicago Art Deco Society. So of course I had to click on over. Unlike New York, they have a section on their site concerning Art Deco real estate. And that's where I saw it, the most perfect building if I had a few million to spend. The Palmolive Building.

If you don't believe me, check out their website: www.palmolivebuilding.com and see for yourself. Or just check out the bedroom in the $10 million penthouse that someone has already bought. Which is on the 37th Floor with amazing views. And the fireplace! I love the fact that there's enough room to walk around and have furniture other than the bed in the room.

This place is a duplex with three bedrooms, walk-in closets, a breakfast room, full dining room, parlor, wetbar, library, media room, guest suite, not to mention bathrooms galore. And it's in a historical building.

And the kitchens? I might even crack open all my Martha Stewart Everday Food magazines or my Rachael Ray cookbook for these kitchens. Not to mention the airconditioning that's already included in all the units.

You can tell by the details that they've kept things in line with the historical nature of the building, which I love, love, love.

This is exactly the type of building that I salivate over living in. I'd even contemplate moving to Chicago, if I could live in this building (or something similar).

Anyone have a dream house or apartment?

Thanks for reading!

EKM

What Time of Day Are You!

I'm plotting, plus I have allergies today, so thanks to the always wonderful Diana Peterfreund, I'm throwing up a blog quiz.

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Pretty funny, considering I'm not a morning person! Although the rest of it is pretty accurate.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Sweet Savage Bin Laden

Oh My God. I just read the funniest excerpt in Harpers magazine (not to be confused with Harpers Bazaar, which is a completely different animal).

Kola Boof wrote a book called "Diary of a Lost girl: The Autobiography of Kola Boof" where she claims that she was Osama bin Laden's love slave for six months on his estate in Morocco in 1996. This excerpt features the worst purple prose I have ever read in my life. I was howling last night when I read it. My favorite bit is when she describes bin Laden as having "a zesty salmon-orange complexion and very sexy Negro-like facial features, forged by generations of desert sun."

I'm wondering if she got hired at Day's of our Lives because of the book or fired because of it. Even the winners of AAR's Purple Prose parody couldn't come up with some of the gems Kola Boof comes up with.

I'm telling you reading this made my day. If you want to read the whole thing you can read it here. Just don't drink anything while you're reading, or I swear you will spew it.

Then after you read that, check out Popwatch on EW for a spoof mash note from Osama bin Laden to Whitney Houston. You have to scroll down for it, but it's worth it. I'm not quite sure where people were coming from in the comments section. Apparently too many people missed the funny.

Oh, and in other news, Tom Cruise's production company got canned by Paramount. Sumner Redstone felt that Mr. Cruise's behavior reflected badly on the company.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Open Letter to George Clooney

Dear George,

It has recently come to my attention that your thoughts might be turning towards settling down, or at least that you are thinking about the possibility of having a child. Well, George, I am the woman for you.

See, George, I'm unlike most of the women that you've dated in Hollywood. For one thing I am not a bimbo. I actually had talent when I was still acting. But now I'm pursuing a career as a writer of fiction, particularly young adult fiction, so you see my career in no way conflicts with yours. I wouldn't be with you just to be seen or to promote my career. I would be with you just because I think you are an interesting and fascinating man.

Also, while I think you're talented and gorgeous and all that, I'm not easily impressed by your fame. After all, I remember when you had big hair and were on Facts of Life. Despite your Oscar, and your celebrity friends like Brad Pitt, you'll still be the guy who was on Baby Talk.

Also, I love Italy. I would be quite happy to spend my entire pregnancy at your villa in Lake Como, getting fat on pasta and tiramisu. I have one request. The pig has to go. No offense to pig lovers everywhere, but I don't think the baby needs a vietnamese pot belly pig as a babysitter. Later on, we can get a nice lab or a golden retriever, but no pig.

Ah George, we wouldn't even have to live together. A nice apartment in New York on the Upper West Side (I prefer Riverside Drive instead of CPW) would be sufficient, and you can visit myself and the baby anytime.

Of course, I would prefer that we conceive our child the old fashioned way, and not the Tom Cruise turkey baster method (ooh, did I say that?). It may take awhile for me to conceive, but I plan on giving it the old college try. How about you?

Now, I know my age might be a deterrant to you, particularly since you seem to prefer brunettes with large breasts in their early thirties. But I'm quite ready to settle down and to give birth. While I'm gestating, I figure I can write 3 or 4 manuscripts therefor multi-tasking. I'm hoping that we have a boy.

So, what do you say George?

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Eek!

Your Horoscope for August 21, 2006 SCORPIO

There are many challenges taking place in your life at the moment and not all of them are welcome, but if you think positive at all times there is no reason why you should not turn them into opportunities. You are often at your best when your back is to the wall, so get motivated and make things happen.

Challenges? I've already recieved two rejections on Crazy Little Thing Called Love in the last week, that's a challenge. And the people that I work for have not thanked me for packing up their stuff on their desk, since we had new phones put in. So it's a challenge for me not to rip their heads off. I have no idea what I'm doing with my current manuscript, another challenge.

All in all, pretty accurate. What does your horoscope for today say? Hopefully it's better than mine!

Thanks for reading.

EKM

Chi-Town

Well, I flew back from Chicago this morning and boy are my arms tired! Yes, I know a bad joke but I really am tired. My flight this morning was at 7:10 a.m. and we actually arrived back in New York, a half an hour early. Yeah, Air-Tran! Yesterday we also arrived early in Chicago, and they didn't lose my luggage, meaning they automatically go to the top of my list of airlines (take that Continental). All that and my flight was only $89 each way, and I could upgraded to Business class for only $35 if I'd wanted too. I wish I had since I found it really hard to sleep with the little kids sitting behind me kicking my seat.

So Chicago was awesome. I could totally see living there. I took the EL into town, and then walked to my hotel on East Wacker Drive. Holy cannoli, there was the Tribune building and the Chicago River. Cool beans. It looked exactly like that movie that Rob Lowe and Demi Moore were in, where they played two impossibly beautiful people who fall in love and have incredible sex in the bathtub, still being aware enough at the climax to pour water on themselves. Do you know anyone who has ever done that?

My hotel, the Hyatt Regency was probably the biggest hotel I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, this place is like 2 city blocks long. Even the Adams Mark in Dallas wasn't as big as the Hyatt Regency. I was staying in the East Tower, and my room was lovely. A King Bed, plus a couch and a lovely armchair. I only wish I'd had more of a chance to enjoy it. I love hotels, primarily because I don't have to make the bed, nor clean the bathroom.

I immediately headed out to Marshall Field's/Macy's. FYI, Marshall Field is like the most famous department store in the Midwest. Founded in the 19th century by Marshall Field, the flagship store has been open since 1907. It's famous for it's Oak Room and Frango mints, among other things. Recently however, Federated Department stores, which owns Macy's bought the Marshall Field's parent company, and decided to turn all the Robinson-May and Marshall Field stores into Macy's including the flagship store on State Street in Chicago.

Personally, I think that's a mistake. Marshall Field was a huge tourist attraction. The good news is the building is landmarked so they don't can't remove the Marshall Field plaques outside or the famous clock, although of course all the windows can say Macy's. I bought several boxes of Frango mints to give as gifts.

Leaving the store, I headed for the Art Institute. I had planned on going to the Field Museum to see the King Tut exhibit, but I didn't want to rush through it, particularly since it cost like $31 to get in, so I went to the Art Institute instead to look at the pretty paintings, incuding Seurat's painting that inspired Sondheim to write 'Sunday in the Park with George'. My favorite artists are the impressionists, so I luxuriated in all the Renoirs and Degas. Although I did go visit American Gothic.

I made it back to the hotel in time to get changed, and then realized two things, I forgot the new evening bag I'd bought back home, and I couldn't remember the name of the church. I improvised by using my pink make-up bag that I'd gotten as a free gift with purchase from Laura Mercier, and the concierge found the church by looking up the details on The Knot. I just made it to the church before the ceremony.

MFM looked just stunning, and the wedding itself was absolutely lovely. From where I was sitting I could see her glow as she looked at her groom. I'm so happy for her, but incredibly sad for myself (see how all roads inevitably lead back to me!). I miss being in love and being in a relationship. Seeing how happy the two of them are, it just made me long for that kind of love all the more.

The reception was held at the Botanic Gardens, and we had a bit of a to do trying to get there. Our bus was having problems with the shock absorbers, so the driver made fifteen people switch to the other bus, to lighten the load. Traffic was slow and we were driving for so long I began to wonder if we were still in the state. Then he took the wrong exit and we ended up on our way to Milwaukee before he finally managed to turn around and get us to the reception. It took us 1 1/2 hours to get there. I really needed a drink!

There weren't many single men, and frankly the wind ruined my hair so that I looked like Monica on Friends when they were in the Carribean, and the humidity made her hair explode. Lovely! I felt a little weird, because I seemed to be the only one there who knew MFM when she went by her first name apart from her family. There were people there who didn't know she'd been an actress. I met some lovely people, but I also felt a bit lonely because everyone knew everyone else, like really well.

Still I had an amazing time, and now I have a new pair of flip-flops. MFM and her groom provided flip-flops as a wedding favor. So here I sit in my new flip-flops writing this blog.

Congratulations to MFM and JSK!

Thanks for reading.

EKM

Oh, the places you'll go!

I'm off to Chicago for the weekend, well actually the day. An old friend, who I had lost touch with for stupid reasons, is getting married. I knew from her ex-boyfriend who is also a good friend of mine, that it was this summer, so thanks to the Internet and The Knot, I found her registry and bought her a wedding gift.

She in turn, googled me and found my blog, left a comment. I at first at no idea who MF was. Eventually, after like 20 minutes, I figured it out, and emailed her at her job. Upshot, I'm flying tomorrow to Chi-town for her wedding.

I just counted, and I've been to ten American cities. That's more than my mother ever went to. I've also been to 5 European cities and one Canadian (Montreal). And I still don't feel as if I've traveled enough. One of the things that I liked about temping was the freedom to take off for a summer to London or Paris. Now that I have a permanent job and only 2 weeks of vacation, it becomes harder. Particularly as I pursue this profession of writing.

It's always a toss-up of whether or not to use my vacation days to travel or to go to a conference. And this when I'm unpublished. When (I said when not if. I'm nothing if not optimistic), it becomes a matter of going to RT and RWA. I totally believe that going to regional conferences as well (particularly if you can come up with a workshop) is a good way to promote your writing, but it has to be balanced out with fun vacations.

Which means taking time off without getting paid for it, since I won't get 3 weeks until I've been in this job for 5 years. Hence why I often think of switching to teaching or working for a non-profit.

The list of places I still want to go seems endless, San Francisco, Newport, Florence, India, Rome, Prague, Tuscany, Monaco, Vancouver, and Toronto. Not to mention the Stratford Festival in Canada. Or the places that I've already been that I want to go back to.

My trip to Prague got cancelled, so it's now a choice of doing the familiar (London where I have friends and can relax and do whatever) or a structured tour of someplace like Florence or Savannah.

Sigh! Tough choices huh?

Thanks for reading,
EKM

Looking for Love in all the wrong places

Okay, I just discovered there was a hot Brit at the RWA Conference and I totally missed him! Why? Because I was too busy scarfing books to go to the Black Lace workshop, and checking out Bob Mayer in his Hawaiian shirt (why do I find him strangely compelling?). Not to mention the doings that were going on in the Grand Lounge on Friday night (check Smart Bitches if you want to know the scoop. Link is on the right). Damn it! I might just have to write a steamy erotic novel to send to Black Lace!

In the meantime, my own pathetic love life continues apace. But you know what I've learned alot and I didn't need to spend $12.95 to buy Greg Berendt's book, "He's just not into you."
So it's back to the drawing board of 8 minute dates and fix-ups. My horoscope in Marie Claire says that I'm going to meet a great guy through friends, so here's hoping that for once they're right.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Seven Dwarves of PMS

Actually in my case, the dwarves are: Crampy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Weepy, and Psycho!

Where is the Love?

So, Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson have seperated after almost six years of marriage? Wow, color me surprised. I really thought that those two were going to make it. I mean she took time off from her career to follow him on tour, they have a two-year old son. So what gives? Sure, she was only 21 when they got married, but she seemed so mature and sure of herself. Of course, no one really knows what's going on in someone else's relationship.

This is like the third celebrity break-up in recent weeks. Last week it was Shanna Moakler and her scary husband from Blink-182. Before that Carmen and Dave. Note to all celebrities out there, don't do a reality TV show together if you want to have a happy relationship. I mean MTV is like killing relationships right and left. That Lauren chick from The O.C. and The Hills just broke up with that one syllable Jason. And she stupidly gave up an internship in Paris to stay in California to be with him.

Note to anyone given the chance to go to Paris to attend the couture shows, take it. Boys may come and go, but spending a week in Paris seeing all the couture shows will not.

All these break-ups just makes me want to dive in and read a good satisfying romance. I mean if no one is happy in real life, at least between the pages of a book, I have a reasonable expectation that they will end up with a happily ever after.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Celtic Horoscope

I'm exhausted today, plus I have a president's letter to write for our chapter newsletter, and I need to find a speaker for our September meeting. If anyone knows of anyone in the tri-state area who would love to come speak to us, let me know!

In the meantime, thanks to Kelly Parra for this little gem.

You Are A Walnut Tree

You are strange and full of contrasts... the oddball of your group. You are unrelenting and you have unlimited ambition. Not always liked but always admired, you are more infamous than famous. You are aggressive and spontaneous, and your reactions are often unexpected. A jealous and passionate person, you are difficult in romantic relationships.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

What I'm reading now

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon, and I'm about to watch Big Brother 7: All Stars for work, so I thought I'd take a moment from researching the show to write about what I'm reading now.

I've just finished 3 Extraordinary books. I've already blogged about how much I loved Diana Peterfreund's Secret Society Girl. If you haven't read, run out and buy it now. There is nothing out there on the market like this book. It gives you a glimpse into a world that most of us have never experienced, nor will ever experience: being a member of a secret society at an elite university.

I'm not talking joining a fraternity or sorority. I'm talking something along the lines of Skull & Bones, or the dining clubs at Princeton and Harvard. Clubs that were once only for the privileged few, meaning white, WASP males with old money. People who could trace their ancestry back to the Mayflower.

The heroine of Secret Society Girl, Amy is someone that I wish that I had known at college. She's funny, intelligent, self-depracating, doesn't take shit, and is just as confused by the male/female relationship as we all are. I can't wait to read the sequel in 2007. I have it on good authority, that it will be even better than the first.

My second favorite book of the week is Blue Blood by Melissa de la Cruz. I thought I had read it all in Vampire books, until I picked up this book at the library. Melissa has such a fresh take on Vampire lore, that it's amazing that I haven't read anything like this before. Her Blue Blood's are just that, descendants of the early settlers at Plymouth, who just happened not to be only Puritans but Vampires as well. I won't reveal all the lore, because it's pretty awesome. This book has multiple points of view, but it's so ingeniously crafted that I felt like I knew each and every character personally. This another series that's going on top of my to buy list next year.

And finally, Jane Austen in Scarsdale, Paula Marantz Cohen's reimagining of Jane Austen's Persuasion set in Scarsdale. Anne Elliott in this version is Anne Ehrlich, guidance counselor at a public high school in Westchester. Her family had once had money, but now they've fallen on harder times. Frederick in this version is Rick, who has become a well-known travel writer. Their paths converge, when his nephew attends Anne's school, and Rick ends up buying her famiy home.

This was a really interesting version of one of my favorite Jane Austen novels. My only quibble is that the role of the father is diminished in this version. We don't get to know him as well as we do Sir Walter Elliott. But the way she's reimagined some of the other characters is very clever, and you get a really good sense of what it's like nowadays for teens trying to apply for college. I thought making Anne, a guidance counselor was particularly inspired.

So those are my three recommendations.

Thanks for reading!
EKM

Great News!

I just received some good news about a member of our chapter, RWA NYC. Patt Mihailof finally sold!

Her work will appear in Caramel Flava 2, an erotica book published by Zane and
Strebor Books/Simon & Schuster. Patt is long overdue to be published
in book form. The book is in the production stages and is being scheduled for a 2007
publication date. We are so going to have her sign copies of her book when it comes out.

Patt has been one of the strongest cheerleaders of all the writers in RWA NYC. She's always ready to give advice or encouragement to a newbie or even a seasoned writer. Not only that, but she's opened up her home to anyone who wants to experience 'Patt's BootCamp.' A weekend where she feeds you while you stay chained to the computer writing.

She's strongly opinionated about everything which we love. She also reads widely, not just romance, but pretty much everything. Not a Wine & Cheese, and now The Golden Apples has gone by without Patt's fabulous door prizes.

Patt's been published for the last few years in the confessions market where she honed her skills writing on deadline and in a short format. But her heart has always belonged to the erotic romances. Now with the explosion in erotic romance, we look forward to this not being Patt's only sale!

Thanks for reading.

EKM

Which Hello Kitty are you?

I'm Hello Kitty Snow Fairy!made by:Jen

When Real Life Gets in the Way

As you can see from the post, my real life has been getting in the way of my writing life since I came back from the conference two weeks. I've been finding it really hard to sit down and write this past week in particular.

I've been beating myself up because I've only managed to write fifteen pages which is alot, but I'm used to cranking twice that amount. I wish I was one of those writers, who can just keep cranking it out no matter what is going on in their personal life. I'm working hard on that but right now it just seems like I can't get out of my way.

In the past two weeks, I've been to a funeral, counseled a friend who is deeply depressed, and seen a relationship that I had hopes for go down the tubes. Plus I've been having problems with a good friend, who I feel has been taking the friendship for granted in a big way. All this has made it really hard for me to focus on my writing.

There have been some bright spots, I had a fabulous time last week at Diana Peterfreund's book party, and an old friend managed to find me through my blog, and we've reconnected. So that's all good, plus my books finally came from Atlanta, so I have a box of books sitting at my feet as we speak.

But I'm worn out, I'm working too hard, and most of the time I just want to curl up in a little ball in the corner. Most of the time, I feel like I'm on the verge of a major crying jag, which I indulged in last night after my train stopped running because of water on the tracks (we had a major rainstorm last night). It took me two hours to get home, and by the time I walked in my door, I had just about had it.

If anyone has any solutions as to how I can keep productive, when life is throwing me a curve, please let me know. I welcome all suggestions.

Thanks for reading,
EKM

Technical Difficulties

Blogger is being very difficult today. I wrote a whole long post about the last two days of the conference, how much fun the RITA's were, the lousy lunches, scarfing of books, and how tiny the Grand Lounge at the Marriott Marquis was (truthfully, it was so small that if you swung a cat you would have hit everyone in the place). I hit publish post, and Blogger ate it. I don't have the energy to rewrite it, so I'm posting this picture from Diana Peterfreund's book party, sent to me by the lovely Deidre Knight.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Pix from National

I'm so freaking tired today, it's not even funny. I had to write Leno last night so I didn't get home until 2:20 a.m. Yikes, and I have to be at work by 8:00 a.m. I'm existing on fumes right now. So here are some pictures from National, courtesy of the Lovely Marley Gibson. Thanks chiquita!

Group Shot from the chick-lit party (thanks to Marley Gibson for the photo)

From the Chick-lit party, from left, me, Marley Gibson, C. Marbini, and Diana Peterfreund

Great Shoes (guess which foot is mine)

In front of the Margaret Mitchell House. Marley and I are wearing our Sorority Girls T-Shirts (Marley's series for Puffin books, due in 2008)

And finally, The RITA's. I told you my dress was green!

Thanks for reading, and I swear I will blog about the final two days of the conference!

EKM

Tuesday Blues

The Lady Novelist is feeling a little down today for a variety of reasons (including being uninvited to a party she should never have been invited to in the first place), so instead of inflicting my neurosis on my unsuspecting readers, I won't be blogging today.

Instead, head on over to the following blogs for happier reading:

Megan Frampton has a funny post about her father

Diana Peterfreund has a great post about her book party complete with slideshow

Meg Cabot has a hilarious post about stalking JK Rowling and Stephen King at the Radio City Music Hall event last week

And finally

Jennifer Cruise has a post about why she hasn't blogged in awhile.

Also check out my links for more fun stuff!

Thanks for reading,
EKM

Waiting for Godot

Has anyone seen Samuel Beckett's play Waiting for Godot? It's about a group of what can only be described as misfits who are waiting for the mysterious Godot to arrive. By the end of the play, they're still waiting.

Well, sometimes it feels that writing is like that. You're always waiting for something, either it's your critique partners to come back to you with feedback, or to hear about an agent submission, alot of a writer's life seems to be about waiting. Although I admit, sometimes hearing back, especially when it's negative can be worse. I've probably mentioned this before, but I once had an agent submission practically hit me in the head on the return after I dropped in the mail slot that's how quickly it came back.

Right now it seems like I've been waiting for months to hear back from various lovely agents about my YA novel. When in reality it's only been about two months, and one of the agents may have had my partial deleted when her computer crashed.

Of course, even if you do have an agent or a contract, there's the waiting for the revisions, and the copy edits, and just when you're in despair, it all comes at once, and you're dying under the deadlines (see Jennifer Crusie's blog). My friend Marley's books won't come out until 2008. Wow, that's seems like such a long time to wait to see your baby in your hands. Can you imagine being pregnant for 2 years?

Even at my night job, there's wait time, waiting for your show to start, or the worst, waiting for your editor to start editing. Some editors are good and will edit you as you're writing. Other editors are talking to their friends via IM instead of editing your work. Oy!

Sorry, as you can tell I'm a bit stressed today.

What I need to do is just go home, do some light yoga, eat some sushi with a nice glass of wine and chill out.

Thanks for reading!
EKM

RWA Conference Part Deux

So, I promised I'd blog about the rest of my conference experience. Thursday dawned bright and early and I actually managed to get up and work out in the gym before heading downstairs for breakfast. Since we were having lunch that day, and given my experiences with the so-called vegetarian meals that hotels typically serve, I thought it best to eat a huge breakfast. So I ate at the restaurant in the hotel, a lovely mushroom omelette, and hash browns that were way too salty. Plus lots of coffee and a glass of orange juice that cost the same as an issue of Glamour.

Then I headed off to Debra Dixon's GMC workshop which was full, so instead I went to Eileen Rendahl's workshop, the chick-lit hero's journey, which I thought was about guy's but actually turned out to be how to use Christopher Vogler's book, the Hero's Journey when you write. Afterwards, I headed over to Emily Giffin's workshop, which was very interesting about how she at first wrote Something Borrowed about Darcy and then realized that the heroine needed to be Rachel, a character that no one would ever suspect of stealing someone's fiance.

Then came lunch and Meg Cabot's hilarious speech. I'm not ashamed to say that I heart Meg Cabot. Plus she was wearing a wrap dress and really cool shoes, which you can see if you head over to her diary.

A group of us then headed out into the Hotlanta weather to visit the Margaret Mitchell house. If you're ever in Atlanta, don't miss it. You don't even have to like Gone with the Wind to be inspired (and frankly I much prefer the movie to the book. Scarlett is less of bitch). We then headed over to the gift shop where I picked up a book called Scarlett Rules and a bottle of Margaret Mitchell water ("I'll never go thirsty again").

Dinner was at Aunt Pitty-Pat's parlor (Head over to Diana Peterfreund's blog to see the photos). I was stuffed from breakfast, so I only had an appetizer of crab and artichoke dip which was totally delicious. And way too many drinks.

My evening ended at a strip club in the suburbs of Atlanta. This was my first time at a strip club, and can I tell you, I've never laughed so hard in my life. Since it was a Thursday, the place was deserted apart from our table of nine and another bachelorette party. The guys were clearly not their A team. The first guy was a good dancer but he came out wearing a turtle neck and pants, and then when he stripped down he was wearing good old Hanes instead of a thong, and his shoes and socks. So not sexy.

The next stripper was pretty good, but then this young kid wearing a baseball cap came out. He looked like Skateboard dude, not a musclebound stripper. It turned out that this was only his second night on the job and it showed. He even put his thong on wrong, and fell out when he was dancing. One our party very kindly tucked him back in for which he gave her a "Thank you, ma'am." Dude, if you want to make a living as a stripper, don't call women 'ma'am'.

Part of their shtick is to come over and talk to the women, convince us with their charm to order lap dances. Unfortunately 'Ty' (not his real name) spoiled that by basically telling us his whole life story in response to the question, "How did you start working here?" The kicker was when he said that his life was like a Lifetime TV movie, but with a guy. I was tempted to order a lap dance just to shut him up.

And then there was old dude. When I mean old, I mean in stripper years, because 4o is not old. Old dude could barely muster up any enthusiasm when he was dancing. I think at one point, he just did a handstand up against the wall and flexed his but cheeks.

Skateboarder dude also came over to talk to us. Apparently he wants to be an actor. When I mentioned that I had once been an actress, he asked for some career advice. I told him to quit stripping and audition for a prestigious summer theatre festival instead. Somehow I think it went over his head.

We finally left the club around midnight and headed back to the hotel, poorer yet wiser after our adventure in strip club land. While I had a good time, I think it's safe to say that I won't be blowing my money at a strip club anytime soon.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Secret Society Girl Launch

I had the privilege last night of attending the book party for Diana Peterfreund's debut book, Secret Society Girl at Home, which is this groovy club in Chelsea way the hell over near the Hudson River. Hopefully, I'll have pictures soon that I can post on the blog. If not, I'm sure that Diana will have pictures as soon as she gets a chance to put them up.

I'd been looking forward to the party all week. After the airline misplaced my luggage, and having to attend the funeral of a dear friend's father, I was in the mood for some happiness. I even went out to Mexx and bought what I like to call the Eva Longoria dress. If you read US Weekly or any of the others, you've probably seen a picture of her in it. It's white, with a funky strap design and a tulip skirt. I didn't look quite as good as Eva in it, but I worked it.

Of course, it rained on the way to the subway stop, which managed not to cool the city down one iota. In fact it felt steamier than ever after the rain. I got to the club fashionably early (meaning on time) so that I could snag a copy of the book. Yippee! Now I have my weekend reading all planned out.

I met Diana's lovely family as well as her boyfriend, Sailor Boy. My good friend Kwana arrived with her husband, and we chatted about recent developments in our writing career. It's hard to believe that it's been a week since National in Atlanta and we'd last seen each other only a few days ago. The first hour they were serving free Dos Equis, but since I dont' drink beer I didn't indulge until a little later.

I caught up with Stacey, a bookseller from Posman Books, a cute bookstore in Grand Central which has a great selection of books, and two debut authors from St. Martin's who just joined our chapter along with their lovely editor. I also got to meet Diana's editor Kerri, who spells her name the same way I spell my middle name. Looking at her and Diana together, they could be sisters.

The wonderful Marley Gibson, author of the Sorority Girl series (Spring 2008, Puffin books) arrived with her husband Mike, webmaster extraordinaire of Diana's site. And I got to chat with Marley and Diana's agent, Deidre Knight, who was so charming. She listened to me pitch what is now my Shakespeare trilogy and was just a doll. Hopefully, keep your fingers crossed, my chapter can work some magic to bring Deidre back to New York to chat at one of our meetings. Particularly since not only is she a wonderful agent, but she's now an author too.

I finally managed to tear myself away around midnight. I would have stayed out later but with work today and tonight, I was plum tired. But not too tired to start reading Secret Society Girl on the way home on the subway (which was blissfully air-conditioned unlike the platform which was like being in the fourth rung of Hell). I had to force myself to put it down so that I could go to sleep.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

RWA National Day One

Okay, I promised that I would write about my take on the National Conference in Atlanta last week. Since I didn't go to Reno last year (too difficult to find a flight that didn't leave at 7:00 a.m. either way and then having to change planes. Can you believe there are no direct flights to Reno?), I really wanted to attend the conference this year. After all Atlanta was the home of Margaret Mitchell, author of the second best selling book of all time (behind the bible).

I left for Atlanta at 11:00 a.m. and we actually arrived a little early. Shared a cab with Lois Winston, author of Talk Gertie to me, and Irene Peterson of the NJRWA. The airport, it turns out, is literally like ten minutes from downtown. Arrived at the Marriott to check in, they were giving out peaches at the front desk, which I thought was cute, although mine wasn't ripe and I couldn't eat it.

One bad thing about the Marriott, at least for those of us who are afraid of heights, the elevators are partially glass so that you can see out as you go up. Yikes! I spent the entire time I was in Atlanta facing the doors so that I didn't have to see out. Registered for the conference. Found out my badge didn't say that I was a chapter president, which I remedied by writing it in, and then getting a Chapter President's badge. Avon donated a really cool bag that was stuffed to the fills with books, books, books, and the conference hadn't even started yet!

Went down to the literacy book signing, where I discovered due to a glitch that our basket for the raffle had not been picked up and brought to the ballroom, so I ended up donating it to the Chick-lit party to raffle off, where it was a big hit (although they could have made much more it than they did). Bought books by Gena Showalter, Jane Porter, Kathleen O'Reilly (from my local chapter), HelenKay Dimon (who's blog I read) and a few others.

Had dinner at the Sports bar at the Marriott before heading up to the Chick-lit party. Another bad thing about the Marriott, the lack of decent places to eat. Maybe I'm spoiled by the Marriott Marquis here in New York, but the one in Atlanta, although it had comfy beds looked more like something they build during the Communist years in the Soviet Union. Plus, it totally lacked in air conditioning. Normally the workshop rooms are freezing, but this year they were tolerable. I don't know if was the fact there were so many women at National this year.

Chick-lit party was a blast. Got a chance to catch up with people I hadn't seen in awhile like Kelly Remick. Met lovely agent no. 1, and pitched my book to lovely agent no. 2, and lovely agent no. 3 was there for awhile as well. Drank the red chick-lit drink before heading up to bed. Chatted with Megan Crane and Liza Palmer (whose books I scarfed at the Warner signing). Megan is so much prettier than her picture where she looks kind of like Dyan Cannon, and she's tiny too. Liza was a hoot. We bonded over our love of Project Runway and other reality TV series.

Met up with my lovely and tiny pregnant roommate Sapna, who is also our web-goddess extraordinaire. It was her first conference, and I hope that we made it a great experience for her.

More tomorrow! (plus pictures)

EKM

August Horoscopes

Once again, I have to thank Julie Hill at Publisher's Marketplace for the August horoscopes.

Libra: Someone close to you has made a big change, not really to your liking. It is most likely not a work person, but the change is affecting your work in a subliminal way. Therapists make money helping people withsuch trials. Employ one.

Hmm! I have no idea about this one. I'll have to think about it as the month goes on.

Scorpio: Thinking of expanding your genres? Fine by me, but are you really qualified to write in the area you are toying with? Sounds like you need to research more and write less. Scorps are superb researchers. They are also money hungry, and would avoid research since there is no immediate check involved.

I have thought about writing historical romances, but that's a long way off. Right now, I have enough going on with my paranormal romantic comedies, and young adult books. I also love, love to research. The last sentence is completely wrong, because I would probably spend more time researching, and not enough time writing!

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Reality Chick

Yeah, yeah, I promised I'd blog about Nationals, but that was before my luggage was delivered to my door at 2:00AM THIS MORNING! Yes, I'm glad I have my bag in one piece with all my lovely books that I scarfed at National (more on that later). Right now I have submissions to get in and I have to figure out what's at stake for the Otis family in Ginny and the Canterville Ghost.

In the meantime, enjoy this (I plan on picking up a copy once the mercury has gone down below 100 degrees).


REALITY CHICK by Lauren Barnholdt is NOW IN STORES!

Going away to college means total independence and freedom. Unless ofcourse your freshman year is taped and televised for all the world towatch. On uncensored cable. Sweet and normal Ally Cavanaugh is one of five freshpeople shacking upon In the House, a reality show filmed on her college campus. (As if school isn't panic-inducing enough!) The cameras stalk her like paparazzi, but they also capture the fun that is new friends, oldcrushes, and learning to live on your own. Sure, the camera adds ten pounds, but with the freshman fifteen a given anyway, who cares? Ally's got bigger issues -- like how her long-distance bf can watch her loopy late-night "episode" with a certain housemate...Freshman year on film.It's outrageous.It's juicy.

And like all good reality TV, it's impossible to turn off. IN STORES NOW!Check out Lauren on the web at www.laurenbarnholdt.com or on her myspace at www.myspace.com/laurenbarnholdt

Thanks for reading!
EKM