Attack of the killer tags!

Recently I sent the first three chapters of my novella to a friend that I trust to critique it for me. I've been very high on this manuscript since I started it. Even though it's been awhile since I've written a romance, I thought that my little novella was just brimming with sexual tension and conflict between my hero and heroine.

Well all that is there, but also abundance of tags. You know those short one line descriptions that are supposed to be so skillfully tucked into dialogue and laced throughout the narrative that they usually escape notice? Not in my hands. My friend highlighted all my tags and to my chagrin, I had one page that was literally covered in them, and that was the first page! At one point in the manuscript, the whole page was blue with highlights. Instead of seamlessly weaving them into the dialogue, as I had thought, they stuck out like a sore thumb.

For example, instead of just ending the dialogue with Rebekah said, I had:

"But why Dylan Fraser, and why now," she asked, leaning forward in her chair.

And then before that, I had my other two characters in the scene doing the same thing. They would say a line, and I would have an action at the same time. One character was popping Nicorette gum, after his line of dialogue. Or a plethora of adverbs, i.e. awkwardly, quietly, subtly. Things that were actually conveyed in the diaglogue, but I felt the need to telegraph it as well.

"Contract is on its way to his agent as we speak," Ari said, a smile of satisifaction on his lips.

Instead I could have said:

"Contract is on its way to his agent as we speak," Ari said. There was a smile of satisfaction on his lips that made Rebekah uneasy, like a cat who had eaten an entire pound of caviar.

Or something like that.

I had no idea that I was doing this, even though I've gone through two drafts of the novella. Thank god, my friend spotted it before I sent it out. Since she told me, I've been very conscious in my revisions of checking myself. I've managed to eliminate the most egregious offenses in the rest of the manuscript. Now, I need to go back to my YA manuscripts and check those. Make sure that I eliminate most of the little buggers there too.

It's amazing how you can fall into a pattern of writing and not even see that you're doing it. That's why having a really good critique partner is so important, to call you not just on your plot holes but also on your little habits that might be getting in the way of your writing.

I will definitely be buying my friend a drink the next time I see her for saving not just me but my manuscript as well.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

(The picture of Patrick Stewart has nothing to do with my post. I just liked it!)