How to Seduce a Scorpio

It looks like I might actually be having something resembling a date tomorrow night with a guy that I've been emailing through Yahoo! Personals. So with that in mind, and just in case any hot guys reading this blog want to know, here are some sure fire ways if you want to score with a gorgeous Scorpio chick with amazing legs who looks really pretty today in her white flowered skirt, tight black low-cut sweater, and pearls (and extremely hot shoes!). A combination of the demure and the dominatrix!

P.S. I scammed these from an astrology book that I have in my library. They're incredibly funny. I don't think these have ever actually worked on me, but hey give it a try!

Do:

• Look sexy at all times, but not in a glaringly obvious way (um, what does this mean exactly?)
• Keep your body in good shape (but you don't have to be sick about it, otherwise you'll give me a complex)
• Just happen to have a water bed being delivered next week (I hate water beds)
• Learn to be a night person - Scorpio comes even more alive then (okay this one is totally true. I was always up for going out drinking after performing, often until the wee hours of the morning which was hell when you had to be at work at 8 a.m.)
• Keep Mr. or Ms. Scorpio guessing all the time - curiousity might have killed the cat but it kindles Scorpio's interest (well this one is true as well, I do like a mystery, and since I've been called an engima myself, of course I would be intrigued by someone who isn't an open book)
• Start practising telepathy and astound your Scorpio with your psychic impressions of their personality (now this one depends. If you're obnoxious about it, I'm going to cut you down to size. Of course it would help if I didn't have to explain everything all the time, my man just knew).
• Practise the smoldering eye routine yourself so you can have fun outstaring each other.

Don't

• Ever show you could be a jealous lover (okay, a little jealously is fine, it's when it becomes psychotic, I'm talking you Paolo on Footballer's Wives, than it becomes a problem)
• Be too intense or dramatic - this only allowed if you're another Scorpio (there can only be one drama Queen in this relationship and it's me)
• Fight this sign - it's the most invincible of all. (You'll never win. I can out argue, and out stubborn anyone)
• Ever question Scorpio's loyalty - you'll soon learn how strong it is. (I'm loyal to the point of stupidity, need help, a baby sitter, a kidney? I'm your girl)
• Get yourself involved unless you're unafraid of passion, power, and possibly intrique too (No wimps need apply!)
• Ever forget Scorpio has a need for privacy at times (translation, I need my own bathroom)

Those are all great, but if you really want to know what works? Dark chocolate and lots of it (I prefer Leonidas or Neuchatel, Godiva only in a pinch), champagne (Veuve Cliquot, or Perrier Jouet Rose), and sushi. No roses unless you cut them straight from the garden. Foot rubs and massages are also appreciated further down the line. And shoes, lots of shoes, but more important, just treat me like the Queen that I am, and we'll get along fine!

Thanks for reading,

EKM