Oy Britney!

Okay, it's Monday morning, and I'm barely coherent. I didn't get home from my night job until 4:00 a.m. and I had to somehow manage to crawl into work today by 10:00 a.m. My normal work hours are 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. but there was no way in hell that I was going to make it on 2 hours of sleep. As it is, I'm in that twilight fugue state where there are lovely colors floating around in front of my face.

Part of the reason I had to work so late was because of the MTV VMA awards. I didn't get to watch them, but because I was writing hybrids (A hybrid is like a special commercial) and the writers doing the MTV awards wrote the hybrids by accident as part of their show, I had to wait and rewrite them.

So I didn't get to see Ms. Spears performance if it can be called that until this morning, and seriously it wasn't worth the wait. How is it possible years in this business to lip-synch badly? This performance wasn't just bad, it was lethargic, it was listless, it was kareoke. She was performing in front of millions of people, not to mention your peers in the industry, after basically being the butt of the joke for the past 3 years, and she blew it.

Was it nerves? Too much benadryl? Acid-reflux? Knowing that your ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake had just won an Emmy award and was there with his hot new girlfriend Jessica Biel? What was it Brit that made your performance so sucktastic? Because she was barely more coherent than I am right now. All of her previous VMA performances were forgotten in an instant (remember when she sang 'Slave For U' with an albino snake around her neck?). Now what everyone will remember is Britney wandering around the stage like she lost her way.

The song "Gimme More" is not a bad song, it's about wanting someone so badly that you just want them to give you more, and she looked like she'd hadn't take a crap in a week. Or had piles. If that's the case, they do have surgery for that. Maybe if the stage manager had waved a drink or some cheetos at her, she would have been more animated. Even the first line of the song when she says, "It's Britney bitch" sounded lame.

The sad thing is that Jennifer Lopez, who performed at Fashion Rocks, out sang her and out danced her. And let's face it JLo ain't Kiri Te Kanawa. Britney could barely arouse herself enough to do even the most basic moves. Seriously, I could have danced better than she did and I'm also most twice her age.

Here was Brit's chance to show the world, she was back with a vengeance and she blew it. Personally, I think she needs to lay low for awhile, and not be seen out and about. And stop partying with Criss Angel, Mind Freak, for crying out loud. Next thing you know, she'll be dating Kid Rock.

I need some sleep,

EKM