Have you ever had one of those days when it seemed like the Universe was pooping on you? I had one of those days yesterday.
After the euphoric high of Election night (you can read about it on Liz Maverick, Hope Tarr, Leanna Renee Hieber, and Megan Frampton's blogs), and a wonderful Wednesday basking in the afterglow of having elected the first African-American President, yesterday was a effing sh**t show.
It wall started out when I could not get into blogger, no matter what I did. This was after someone hijacked the email that I was using for my other blog, Scandalous Women. Then I discovered that nothing had been done to tweak the new design, even though I paid the final installment. Then, I discovered that my reservation for my birthday cocktails was lost, and I had to practically cry over the phone to the reservationist to get something done. I also found out that the workshop that Leanna and I put together was not accepted for the Historical Novel Society conference, and I got short-changed when I bought one of my favorite meals of spicy tofu and vegetable lo mein last night. There was some other stuff that went down that I can't blog about but it was a particularly crappy day all around.
It wasn't until I got home and saw the beautiful flowers that a man type person gave me on Wednesday for my birthday, that I started to gain some perspective on life and the whole day. They had just started to open and the smell had permeated my bedroom.
I realized that I need to start letting go of stuff that I can't change which is pretty much everything. The only thing that is in my control is my writing. That I can fix, the rest I pretty much can't.
A very wise friend pointed out to me that if you do something nice for someone, you have to have no expectations that your kindness will be returned. You just have to do it because you want too. Well, I've always had expectations, and I always end up getting burned. I've always labored under the 'do unto others, as you would have them do unto you,' type of thing. So I need to also start lowering my expectations or just getting rid of them completely. Just because you do something nice for someone you consider a friend, doesn't mean it will ever be reciprocated. Most of the time, it won't. And if it is, well then you know that that person is a true friend, and you should cherish that person.
So, I'm trying to send out good vibrations into the Universe, to try and extend the feeling of good will that I had on Tuesday, and not to let petty grievances about how people suck spoil my days.
We'll see how that goes.