Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Deeper Dating?

I've been single for awhile now since ex-sweetie pie and I broke up and frankly I'm getting a little tired of it. Although I'm very independent, and have no problems spending time by myself (I'll even go eat in restaurants by myself), I prefer to be part of a couple. How very retro of me I know. However, I hate dating. Hate it with a passion. I've read books that say that you should enjoy the dating process, think of it like shopping. The problem is I have a much easier time finding clothes that I like and that fit me than I do finding a man.

I've tried on-line dating but who really has the time to surf through all the profiles with out of date pictures and lame come-ons? I even tried eharmony for six months and I kept getting matched with people who lived in Montana not to mention like Papua New Guinea. How was that supposed to work out exactly? After awhile I just got tired of exchanging emails with guys that went nowhere. No I dropped all the services that I was paying for and decided to take a breather from the whole dating experience.

Recently, in an effort to get over my deep feelings for cutie-pie author, I decided it was time to get back on the horse again so to speak, but I wasn't willing to go back to Internet dating. No siree. So I signed up for something called Deeper Dating at the 92nd St. Y. I figured why not, at the least I would have something to blog about besides shoes and Richard Armitage. Deeper Dating bills itself as a chance to experience going 'deep' with a potential mate. In reality, what it really turns out to be is speed dating but with a twist. Instead of chatting with your 'date' for 8 minutes or 3 minutes or however long, you get 50 seconds to answer a question that is posed by the host. Seriously. Questions ran the gamut from 'What would you do if you suddenly had $500' to 'Talk about something fun that happened to you in the last month.'

Try boiling that down to 50 seconds! At first we were divided up into 6 smaller groups and we would go around the circle answering the question. Then we all got into one big circle and we had a minute to talk about something we enjoy in front of everyone. Then we broke into two long rows of chairs, men on one side, women on the other. The host would ask a question and then first the men or the women would answer and then vice-versa. Then the women would move down one chair like some kind of dating musical chairs.

I found the whole process rather frustrating. 50 seconds isn't a whole lot of time to really get to know someone even with the whole question thing. The only questions that I found pertinent were the what kind of relationship are you looking for, and what constitutes your ideal relationship. That was great for getting me to define in my head what it is that I really want, so that was helpful. However, I was shocked that one of the guys in my group had just broken up with a year long relationship two weeks prior and he was already at a dating event. Dude, that's cold.

What was interesting was that there were more men than women at the event which is unheard of, especially in New York. Apparently women are planners, and men tend to show up at the last minute because they had nothing else better to do that night (what no sports event on TV?). So like 10 guys showed up at the last minute. The host, who created this whole Deeper Dating thing, told us that we would have a better chance at meeting someone at an event like this or volunteering than in a saloon. Saloon? What is this 1895? Who calls it a saloon? Seriously, saloons are places with dancing girls doing the can-can, where the bad guy walks in with his posse and has a shoot-out with the sheriff on Gunsmoke. People in 2008 go to bars.

Afterwards, we were to go up to people that we found interesting and give them slips of paper with our number. The other person was to say thank you and take the paper. That was kind of daunting but I did it. I figured what the hell and so what if I never heard from these guys? I already knew that none of them were really my 'forever' person as the host called it. But I decided that I would be open and give out my email addy to a few guys (no way was I actually giving out a phone number).

So far, I've actually heard from one of my dudes. I figure I have nothing to lose by actually going out with him. After all I can practice my 'dating' skills on him!

Wish me luck,


1 comment:

Kwana said...

Good luck, Elizabeth. I don't get how they can call 50 seconds deeper though. Crazy. Have fun on your date!