Thursday, June 14, 2007

Introducing the Delta Male

As romance writers, we've all heard of the Alpha Male (Russell Crowe), the Beta Male (think of Al Gore), and even the Gamma Male (a Beta who turns Alpha when his woman or family are threatened).

Well, I give you the Delta Male! You know who they are, think all the guys that you know who pledged a fraternity in college (or a secret society) and twenty years later still act as if they're in one. Still use words like "Dude," they wear their college ring with pride, and as far as they're concerned it was the best four or five years of their lives (what they can remember of it).

Their humor is sophomoric (think of all those National Lampoon movies), and they probably have a file cabinet in HR from all the inappropriate comments that they've made mainly to female colleagues over the years. They are frequently Republican, although there are a few that are Democrats (think Roger Clinton).

Most of them work as investment bankers, and live on the Upper East Side, where they frequent bars like Brother Jimmy's BBQ. They thrive on being 'politically incorrect'. In the summer you can find them out in the Hamptons, where they have not one but two summer shares. During the day at work, they like to throw a football at each other, despite the fact that the aisles on the trading floor are narrow. They talk sports constantly or how hot certain women like Jessica Alba are.

I once worked at an IB, where two of the salesman actually stood in front of one the assistants desk talking about how much they liked to have sex with their wives while they were pregnant.

In books and movies, they are usually the hero's best friend, the annoying guy that the girlfriend has to tolerate. But they can also be the hero, witness any movie starring Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, or Owen Wilson. The Wedding Crashers, total Delta Male movie.

A prime example of the Delta Male in real life is one George Walker Bush, our 44th President, or Ty Pennington from Extreme Makeover.

Can the Delta Male be tamed? Well, Laura Bush supposedly told W that it was either Jim Beam or her. It takes a strong woman to put up with a Delta Male. A beta female could probably win him with her love and brownies, but I'm thinking that a Delta Male needs an Alpha female to truly whip into shape. Think of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.

Who do you know who is a Delta Male?

EKM



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