How to humiliate yourself - 21st Century edition

Okay, how many people ever drunk-dialed an ex? Raise their hands!

Well now thanks to the technology of text-messaging, you can embarrass yourself without even having to talk to the person. Yes, I'm talking about TWI, aka texting while intoxicated. I have many DWI violations (dialing while intoxicated) but last night I hit a new low when I text-messaged Fun Guy to find out what the hell had gone wrong.

I know, I know, I should have left well enough alone. I mean he's all wrong for me but we have this sexual chemistry. Astrologically speaking, it's all there. It's like a scary obsession or something. We're in Red Shoes Diary territory. So there I was at AquaGrill drinking a very nice Muscadet, the same restaurant Fun Guy and I had been to several weeks ago, when I couldn't help myself and my fingers did the walking.

Of course, you know, nothing good could come of this. Does it ever? I've found out exes have been engaged through drunk dialing, I once begged ex-sweetie pie to tell me why he wouldn't marry me once while drunk dialing. See, someone should have said, "Put the phone down and slide it over." And basically confiscated it until I sobered up.

First of all, he didn't even know who the text message was from. Isn't that special? He'd already deleted me from his phone. Okay, so I deleted first, but still, you'd think he'd recognize the number! But I think it was the "Uggh, actresses," part that really tipped it for me. Please, tell me that I deserve better, or tell me that I have halitosis, but don't use the fact that I was once an actress to condemn me for wanting answers! I hate that shit.

This is the reality of dating in New York. There are so few decent guys, that we can convince ourselves that someone who isn't fit to wipe our shoes, is somehow our soul-mate.

The good news? I can actually use this in the YA novel that I'm writing right now. I mean come one, some kid must have dumped a girl via text message. I can't be the only one. Oh, and I also signed up for another speed dating event. So there is a silver lining, I guess.

Oh, and it would make one hell of a Black Lace book!

Thanks for reading!

EKM