Things I just don't understand

I'm not a huge Paris Hilton fan, but seriously, do people in the judicial system in LA hate Paris Hilton or what? Nicole Ritchie had her second DUI, and gets 82 minutes in jail (apparently the jail was overcrowded), and Lindsay Lohan, who is in rehab for the third time, gets 1 day for her second DUI. The girl had cocaine on her, twice! And she was charged with 7 misdemeanors.

Meanwhile Paris drives with a suspended license and gets 3 weeks in jail. Is it because Lindsay and Nicole pled guilty and took a plea bargain and Paris didn't?

I was feeling kind of sorry for Paris, until I got a look at her new clothing line. Seriously, she should be arrested by the fashion police for crimes against the general public for trying to foist this crap as designer clothing. I've seen better stuff by Massimo at Target.

There's some fugly yellow satin number, a hideous silver coat that no one in the 60's would have worn, and some other god awful stuff that for someone reason Kitson is actually selling. But this piece took the cake:

Would you want to have this on your chest?

Thanks for reading!

EKM

I Heart Ted Allen!

This is my new boyfriend Ted Allen. Now I know what you're thinking, Ted doesn't play for my team. No matter, he's my new gay boyfriend. Every woman should have one, Kathy Griffin has several. I want Ted Allen to be mine (no offense, Chip, you know I still love you!).




Oh, Ted, you were the diamond of the Queer Eye Guys, the one that shined the brightest. No matter how silly Jai or Carson got, you still kept things moving along. I bought my first bottle of Chateau St. Michelle Reisling because of you, a wine I still drink today.




I had the good fortune of meeting you three years ago in London just after my birthday (it was a big one) at the Century Club on Shaftesbury Avenue. You were so polite even after I helped myself to the rest of your glass of champagne just before you were leaving. My only regret is that I didn't keep that glass and sell it on Ebay. I could have made a good sum of money. Not as much as the Barry Bonds baseball will fetch or the piece of French Toast that Justin Timberlake took a bite out of, plus close.




How I long to be invited to a dinner party at your house in Brooklyn, where you cook a lovely meal with a great entree for us non-meat eaters to enjoy. And now you're on Top Chef when Gail Simmons is not available. Thanks to the good people at Blogging Top Chef who circulated a petition to bring you back after your successful earlier appearances on the show. Plus you have a show on wine on PBS.


It's a veritable Ted Allen mania!



Oh, Ted, you complete me.



EKM

Tagging myself!

You know you have nothing to say when you're borrowing memes from other people's blogs!

So here are the rules for this meme:

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.

4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Kick-ass Legs
Elegant
Responsible
Romantic
Intense

Okay, now I'm stuck because I know no one blogging whose name's begin with either E, R, or I!

So I'm tagging Kelly, Megan, Patt, Maureen, and Gabrielle!

At least their names contain the letters in my middle name!

EKM

Attack of the killer tags!

Recently I sent the first three chapters of my novella to a friend that I trust to critique it for me. I've been very high on this manuscript since I started it. Even though it's been awhile since I've written a romance, I thought that my little novella was just brimming with sexual tension and conflict between my hero and heroine.

Well all that is there, but also abundance of tags. You know those short one line descriptions that are supposed to be so skillfully tucked into dialogue and laced throughout the narrative that they usually escape notice? Not in my hands. My friend highlighted all my tags and to my chagrin, I had one page that was literally covered in them, and that was the first page! At one point in the manuscript, the whole page was blue with highlights. Instead of seamlessly weaving them into the dialogue, as I had thought, they stuck out like a sore thumb.

For example, instead of just ending the dialogue with Rebekah said, I had:

"But why Dylan Fraser, and why now," she asked, leaning forward in her chair.

And then before that, I had my other two characters in the scene doing the same thing. They would say a line, and I would have an action at the same time. One character was popping Nicorette gum, after his line of dialogue. Or a plethora of adverbs, i.e. awkwardly, quietly, subtly. Things that were actually conveyed in the diaglogue, but I felt the need to telegraph it as well.

"Contract is on its way to his agent as we speak," Ari said, a smile of satisifaction on his lips.

Instead I could have said:

"Contract is on its way to his agent as we speak," Ari said. There was a smile of satisfaction on his lips that made Rebekah uneasy, like a cat who had eaten an entire pound of caviar.

Or something like that.

I had no idea that I was doing this, even though I've gone through two drafts of the novella. Thank god, my friend spotted it before I sent it out. Since she told me, I've been very conscious in my revisions of checking myself. I've managed to eliminate the most egregious offenses in the rest of the manuscript. Now, I need to go back to my YA manuscripts and check those. Make sure that I eliminate most of the little buggers there too.

It's amazing how you can fall into a pattern of writing and not even see that you're doing it. That's why having a really good critique partner is so important, to call you not just on your plot holes but also on your little habits that might be getting in the way of your writing.

I will definitely be buying my friend a drink the next time I see her for saving not just me but my manuscript as well.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

(The picture of Patrick Stewart has nothing to do with my post. I just liked it!)

Old Acquaintances

I've always been fascinated by female friendships, and every book that I've written, my heroine has had at least one or two close female friends. But what really fascinates me is what keeps friends together and what drives them apart. Or "frenemies," those women who are in your life because they're good friends with one of your friends.

I went to see "Old Acquaintance" today at The Roundabout Theater here in New York. The play was written by John Van Druten, who also wrote "I Am a Camera" and premiered on Broadway back in the early 40's, and has been filmed twice. Once with Bette Davis and Miriam Hopkins (really good movie) and again as Rich and Famous with Candice Bergen and Jacqueline Bisset (and a young Meg Ryan.)

It's interesting how the play depicts female friendships. Kit Markham and Millie Drake have been friends since they were girls in Harrisburg, PA. They are both writers, Millie writes what appears to be glitz and glamour novels, that sell like hotcakes. Think of Judith Krantz or Jackie Collins. And Kit writes literary fiction that wins critical raves but not much in terms of sales. Millie is divorced with a 19 year old daughter, while Kit has never married and has a lover who is ten years younger than her.

The conflict arises over Millie's daughter, Deirdre who worships Kit and has no use for her mother. Millie envies Kit for what she has, even though Millie's life is not that bad. She's rich and her novels are best sellers. But she longs for the kind of critical reception that Kit has and the relationship that she has with Deirdre. As the play goes on, we learn that Kit was once in love with Millie's husband Preston, but convinced him to stay in his marriage (there's a funny scene where Preston confesses all in an attempt to prove what a good friend Kit has been which backfires spectacularly. Only a man would think that.)

What's interesting about the play is what keeps Kit and Millie friends. Almost everyone in the play wants to know why Kit would stay friends with a woman whom it seems they treat like a joke. Kit brings up their shared history from their childhood on, and how they have a sort of shorthand that she doesn't have with anyone else.

Although the play is incredibly soapy and melodramatic, it resonated with me. How many of us have friends that we've known since we were six, that we may not see all that often, but when we do, it's like there's 30 years of history in the room. Friendships between women are powerful things and when they end, it's like breaking up with a boyfriend. In some ways, it's evne worse, because you share things with your girlfriends in a way that you don't with the men in your lives.

Watching Kit and Millie tear in to each other, (Millie reveals that she nows about Preston and Kit, accusing her of having had an affair with him for years, and Kit accuses her of not knowing how to be a friend) releasing years of resentment, I had flashbacks to friends that I've had in my life. Just recently, I ended a friendship with someone who tore into me for what she perceived as my failings as a friend, because she didn't feel that I had been there for her. In that one instant, the past several years of friendship, all the times that I had been there for her, seemed to mean nothing compared to this one occasion. She simply trashed the relationship despite my apology.

One of the most telling moments in the play for me, and one that the playwright seemed to gloss over after bringing it up, was when Kit talked about her relationship with Deirdre, and how she resolved from the time she was born to make Deirdre love her. I'm not sure if that came out of her love for Preston but it explained so much. I would have loved to seen her admit to Millie that in a certain way, she wanted Deirdre to love her more than her own mother.

There was also the question of professional jealously. Despite Kit's closet disdain for Millie's novels, you know she longs to have both the critical acclaim and the money, while it kills Millie that her books may sell, but a highbrow publisher like Mallory won't touch her with a ten foot pole. How many of us have had a little schadenfreude when we've seen friends sell before us, or read books that we feel aren't as well written as ours, but they've been published? But there was no Amazon.com for people to vent on.

In the end, the two friends make up in that way that friends do, where you just sort of sweep the unpleasantness under the rug, and you go on, because not having them in your life would be worse, than having them. In the back of my mind, I wondered if Millie would ever really be able to forgive Kit for falling in love with her husband. That seems to be the kind of thing that usually ends a friendship (I once had a friend end our friendship just on the suspicion that I wanted her ex-boyfriend. I didn't.).

Or maybe Kit and Millie realize that in the long run, men may come and men may go, but a true friend (someone who will lovingly criticize your manuscript and make it better, who loves you for better and for worse) is more important.

EKM

Astor Place Riots

I've been attempting to read this historical mystery for weeks now, and it's been very hard to get into because of the shifting points of view from third person to first, but the other day I almost threw the book across the room when the author sketchily and inacurrately described the Astor Place Riots that took place in New York in 1849. The main character is supposed to be a Shakespeare buff, so he should know more details than he gives.




This is the second time that someone has gotten the details wrong. I once took a walking tour of the Bowery and got into an argument with the tour guide when he wrongly described what went on that night. He got all huffy and went on about studying for his PhD in history at Columbia. Well, I had 3 years of theater history in college, and as I reminded him there was currently an exhibition at the Museum of the City of New York on the riots. Not to mention a very fine play called Two Shakespearean Actors by Richard Nelson.

So what were the Astor Place Riots? And why is the event in history so significant? The Astor Place Riots was not just about the rivalry between two famous actors of the era, Edwin Forrest and William Charles Macready. It was also American vs. English, middle class vs. the Upper Classes. It was one of the deadliest civil disturbances pitting the poor against the upper classes in the United States until the Draft Riots in 1863 (also in New York).



A little background on the rivalry between Macready and Edwin Forrest. Forrest was born in Philadelphia in 1802, and was the first American superstar as it were in the theater. He acted with Edmund Kean who was a huge English theater star of the time. Forrest was noted for his muscular frame and impassioned delivery which was considered suitably "American" by his fans.


He acted at the Princess's theatre in London were he met with great success, but when he attempted Macbeth, a character that seemed unsuited to style of acting, the audience hissed the performance. Forrest attributed the hissing to the professional jealousy and machinations of Macready, although Macready had been kind and helpful to him when he first to London.


A few weeks later, Macready was playing Hamlet in Edinburgh. Forrest, who was attending the performance, stood up in a private box and hissed at him (not very mature!). This act evoked contemptuous reproaches from the British press and destroyed the respect he had garnered on his trip. An acrimonious letter that he printed in the " Times" aggravated, instead of justifying, his offence.

A portion of the American public believed that national jealousy and professional intrigue had interfered with the success of their favorite tragedian in England.

In May of 1849, William Charles Macready arrived in New York to perform Macbeth at the Astor Place Opera house, which was the Opera house for the middle class and rich as opposed to the Bowery Opera House down the block, which catered mostly to a working class audience, and whose lead actor was of course, who else, Edwin Forrest. In fact, the Astor Place Opera House had been built specifically so that the wealthier citizens of New York didn't have to mingl with people they felt were beneath them. The new theater had high ticket prices (the better to keep the hoi polloi out), and a dress code.


To fan the flames, the Bowery theater decided to offer Edwin Forrest playing Macbeth on the same nights as Macready. Macready seemed to be a symbol to the working people and the Irish immigrants of everything that they hated. He was English and a snob, two things guaranteed not to get him a warm reception from anyone apart from the upper classes who were anglophiles despite our independence from the motherland.


On May 7, 1849, an unruly mob hissed and interrupted the Macready's performance including pelting the poor actor with rotten eggs, potatoes, old shoes and a bottle of liquid which may have been something called asafetida, which stank. Macready, being a trooper, finished the performance, but had to be persuaded to finish the rest of the run. He was promised that order would be maintained. The only way to keep that promise was to call out the militia and the calvary. On May 10th, he took the stage again.


That day, over 20,000 people apparently filled the streets around the theater after working class and Irish leaders called for a protest demonstration saying the performance and the troops that were sent to protect Macready represented "English aristocracy" trying to oppress the "people." As the performance began, a crowd of 10,000 which included native and Irish gangs like the Bowery Boys and the Dead Rabbits (In Gangs of New York they walked around with dead rabbits on sticks when they fought) threw stones through the windows.

The New York Tribune reported, "As one window after another As one window after another cracked, the pieces of bricks and paving stones rattled in on the terraces and lobbies, the confusion increased, till the Opera House resembled a fortress besieged by an invading army rather than a place meant for the peaceful amusement of civilized community."

The police force couldn't stop the rioters so the National Guard from the Seventh Regiment, was called in. Most of the rioters didn't disperse even as the soldiers assumed the firing position. To the surprise of many, even among the soldiers, the order was quickly given to fire directly into the crowd, leaving 22 dead and another 38 injured. The next day a protest crowd circulated a petition calling for revenge against the soldiers who had fired, but cooler heads managed to prevail, and the worst was over.


As for our two protagonists, Macready went back to England and retired two years later in 1851. He later died in 1873. He left behind a widow and 3 children. Forrest weathered a scandal when he divorced his wife in 1852 which hurt his reputation, but he continued to perform until his retirement in 1871. In his later years, he lobbied for the rights of smaller theaters against the monopoly of powerful conglomerated theater companies. He also used his considerable wealth to create an home for retired actors called the Forrest Home which lasted for over 100 years until it was eventuallly incorporated into the much larger Actors Fund facility in New Jersey. He's one of the few actors besides the other Edwin (Booth) who are still remembered today.


Thanks for reading,


EKM

Thursday Real Estate Porn

This week's Real Estate Porn is Midford Castle in Somerset near Bath. It was built by a man named Henry Disney Roebuck in 1775 in the shape of the Ace of Clubs. Legend has it that he chose that shape because he won a fortune at the gaming tables with the Ace of Clubs. But the truth is that Mr. Roebuck was a wealthy romantic who chose the plan and design of the building chiefly for aesthetic reasons, based on a contemporary plan of John Cater, a gothic enthusiast.

It's a Grade I listed castle whatever that means. It comes with 59 acres of parkland, grassland and woodland. It also boasts an orangery, two cottages, and a ruined chapel. It was on sale for a cool 5 MM (around $10MM) pounds until one Nicolas Coppola Cage bought it recently for 4.5MM pounds. Yes, that Nicolas Cage, star of Ghost Rider and National Treasure, the man who named his son after Superman. Who used to be a good actor back in the days when he made Leaving Las Vegas.

Apparently, he has 14 homes worth at least $66MM including a 28 room fortress that he bought in Bavaria called Castle Neidstein in Germany. I have no idea why, although he's said that he would like move a castle brick by brick across the pond. Hopefully he'll change his mind about that. It would be like when they moved the old London Bridge over to Arizona.

It must be nice to own a historic castle, but I'm unlikely to ever know that unless I win Megamillions. Although I would adore staying in one.

EKM

Wednesday Funny

What will they think of next?

So I have a subscription to British Heritage magazine, and I'm flipping through the pages, when what do I see? An article on Dickens World! Yes, this past May, an "innovative and exciting 62MM pound indoor visitor complex" was opened in Kent, England, themed around the life, work and times of Charles Dickens.

I haven't been there so I have no idea what it's like, but the website www.dickensworld.com has video where you can see the place being built. Apparently, it features Europe's largest themed boat ride which transports visitors from the depths of London's sewers through the atmospheric streets, courtyeards, marekts and shops, to a magical flight across the roof tops of London. There's also a haunted house, where the ghosts from The Christmas Carol will haunt, and children can playi in Fagin's Den.

I'm not sure how I feel about a Dickens theme park. It seems somehow cheesy and tacky. But again I haven't seen it. It could turn out to be something like Colonial Williamsburg or more along the lines of England land, and France land at Epcot.

Would anyone visit say Fenimore Cooper World? or Louisa May Alcott World?

EKm

Capturing the Friedmans

I saw this movie over a week ago, and it's taken me this long to digest it in order to blog about it. It's a powerful film and one that is not easy to summarize. It was the third documentary in a summer series called "Crazy Love," at the Philoctetes Center here in New York. The other films were Sherman's March, and Grey Gardens.

Capturing the Friedman was directed by Andrew Jarecki who made millions from his creation of Moviefone. The background to the film is that he'd heard about this clown that was pretty popular in New York with birthday parties and he wanted to find out I guess what makes a person choose a career as a clown.

It turned out that the clown was a man by the name of David Friedman. As Andrew Jarecki started working on the film, he learned that David Friedman's father and brother had been accused of multiple counts of child molestation on Long Island in the late 1980's. Instead of focusing the film on David Friedman, Andrew decided to make the story of the Friedman's the focus of his movie.

He was aided by the fact that David Friedman and his brothers had taken copious 8MM films during their childhood. David Friedman has also filmed the family during the time that the Arnold Friedman and the youngest son, Jesse were accused and awaited trial.

I can't tell you how painful this movie was too watch. Just listening to the contradictory stories from the police, the family, some of the kids who were part of the computer classes that Arnold Friedman ran out of his home who claimed that no abuse took place, to the kids (now adults) who claimed that they were sexually abused, was harsh.

The simple facts of the case are this, Arnold Friedman was receiving child pornography from the Netherlands in the mail, which raised a red flag. After he was arrested for having child pornography, the police automatically made the assumption that since he was teaching kids, he must be molesting them. From there, Arnold's son Jesse, who helped out with the classes, and another teenager were accused of sexually abusing minors.

Here's where it gets fuzzy. Several of the children were clearly coerced into their testimonies, the other defendant was given the option of testifying against the Friedman's or going to jail for 50 years, and the stories of the children who claimed to be sexually abused, didn't match the stories of other students who were in the classes at the same time. Also, Arnold Friedman had also given piano lessons for years in his home, but none of those kids ever came forward as adults when the case made headlines to claim that they were abused. Of course, there could be a reason for that. The shame at having a trusted teacher molest you, not wanting even after several years to come forward.

The video footage that David Friedman took of his family during the time they were awaiting the trial is stomach churning, particularly the way the sons treat their mother, almost as if she were the enemy. The truth was that their mother, once she knew her husband had been looking at child pornography, had a hard time defending him. The sons wholeheartedly believed their father was innocent, and took her actions as a betrayal. But it was clear that this family was seriously dysfunctional.

At times, it almost seemed as if the footage had been staged, it was so theatrical. Both father and son eventually pleaded guilty for different reasons. Once Arnold Friedman admitted that he was a pedophile (although he claimed he had never touched his students), the chances of him being acquitted were slim. He eventually died in prison, and there is reason to believe that he committed suicide. He left an insurance policy to Jesse Friedman, probably so that Jesse would have money to mount an appeal once he got out of prison.

Jesse served 13 years, and now he claims that he only pled guilty on the advice of his attorney, and he wants his conviction appealed, for I guess getting bad advice. The middle son Seth didn't participate in the documentary, having basically fled the family to make a life for himself out West.

What's interesting about the documentary is that Andrew Jarecki doesn't take sides one way or the other during the film. He just lets the story unfold so that the audience can make up their own minds whether or not they believe in the Friedmans' innocence for which he's gotten a certain amount of flack.

I actually found it refreshing that he didn't take the Michael Moore approach, basically hammering the viewer over the head with his viewpoint. Still, the cops, the DA, and the judge in the trial feel that they have been misrepresented in the film, because Jarecki does raise questions about the way evidence was collected, and whether or not the children were led into confessing.

The DVD has more footage and extras that I haven't yet seen, but I kind of want to, although I'm not sure that I can sit through the movie again. I feel for Arnold Friedman's wife, learning that the man that you've been married to for over 20 years is a pedophile couldn't have been easy. What the film did do was let the viewer know that pedophiles aren't necessarily men in raincoats who hang around playgrounds. I remember when the movie Happiness came out, people were upset because the pedophile in that film seemed on the surface to be an ordinary suburban husband and dad. He wasn't a weird creep like the Jackie Earle Hailey character in Little Children.

That movie and this documentary just goes to show that everyone is not always what they seem on the surface. And who do you believe? Children who may have been led into confessing to something that didn't happen, or a man who is an admitted pedophile?

EKM

Thank God It's Friday

Lot's of talk on the blogs about "Becoming Jane." So I thought I'd throw up a picture Mr. James McAvoy who plays Tom Lefroy. Unfortunately, he looks about 15 in this picture.

The weather is back to being lousy today, so I stayed in doors and actually got some work done on the novella. I hope to work on part of the love scene this weekend, before I submit it to the Brava Novella contest.

I'm really excited about entering. Since it's been a long time since I've written a romance, I've really taken my time with it, making sure that the motivations are clear, and that I build the relationship between the two main characters that's believable.

I've managed to cut about 20 pages out of the novella, anything extraneous had to go, which meant lots of interior monologues bit the dust. It's nice to know that I can actually write something in 85 pages. My writing is getting tighter with every book.

Once the novella is done, it's back to the next YA that I have in the pipeline, and possibly outlining another romance idea I had.

Tomorrow off to the beach for a spell since it's supposed to go back to being hot and steamy here in New York.

Have a great weekend!

EKM

Unbecoming Jane

http://unpretentiouslitcrit.blogspot.com/2007/08/un-becoming-jane.html

LOL! You have to read this! Even if you haven't seen the movie, but especially if you have!

The Most Awesome Dress Ever!

Oh my GAWD, is this not the most awesome dress ever? I have a love affair with cherries. I not only love to eat them (both black and rainier bing cherries), but I love any print that has cherries on them. Right now I have two pairs of flip-flops that have a cherry print.

So imagine by surprise when I just by chance plugged in 'dresses with cherries' into yahoo and up popped this gorgeous dress on Ebay.

They are custom made by a 26 year old you lives in Baltimore. Yes, custom made. You buy the dress and give your measurements, and she sends you the dress. And it is not expensive either. This dress retails for about $120.

Throw on a sweater, some strappy high heeled sandals and you are ready to go. Finding this dress totally makes up for the fact that the train stopped running this morning because of the monsoon we had here in New York. I had to pile on a bus which meant that I was 45 minutes late for work this morning.

Fortunately every one at work had the same problems, and since I live all the way uptown, I had no choice but to either take the bus or go home. Frankly, I was all for the going home option, but I soldiered, and I'm so glad that I did.

Pretty dress, come to mama!

EKM

I Heart Anthony Bourdain!

I had planned on focusing my blog this week on writing, but I'm kind of still upset today about a certain matter, and I'm torn about whether or not I should blog about it. It concerns author etiquette. So in the meantime I thought I would blog about something that makes me happy and that's Anthony Bourdain. Although I don't watch his show on the Travel Channel "No Reservations" since my freind Marley told me that he stalked and barbecued a zebra on a recent episode.

Ah Chef Bourdain, even though you despise vegetarians or vegequarians like myself, I still can't quit you. Your funny and slightly nasty blog posts on Bravo TV in place of Tom Colicchio the past few weeks has made my day. I particularly loved your recent blog on Rocco DiSpirito and the recent frozen food challenge. Even though I disagree totally with your disdain for the challenge, I did love your comments about the contestants and the big lug Rocco himself.

I hope they bring you back as a guest judge, and I think that they should give you your own blog on Bravotv.com. Who needs to hear from Marcel or Sam for that matter (Just kidding Sam, I still love you)? Your wealth of experience and knowledge should be shared with as many people as possible.

You are a man who is not afraid to speak his mind, but you are also intelligent, and funny as heck. And you've traveled enough and have such a vast food knowledge that it's hard to argue with you, although when Howie threw your own words back at you, you were man enough not to pound him. You are a man who is passionate about food, so I've even forgiven you for dating Page Six columnist Paula Froelich. Clearly even a great man like yourself can make mistakes.

Ah Chef Bourdain, I would love to cook a delicious vegetarian meal for you so that you would see that vegetarian food doesn't mean bland or boring. Or check out the Green Zebra in Chicago if you don't believe me.

Anyway, you are still tops with me, and my number 1 dinner guest at my fantasy dinner party.

EKM

Summer of Love

So I went to the Whitney Museum to see their Summer of Love art exhibition which turned out to be somewhat interesting, but it made me glad that I had gotten in for free using my corporate ID. The exhibition came from the Tate Liverpool in England, and while the idea was great, the concept was lacking in terms of putting it in context with what was going on in the wider world. The best thing about the whole exhibit was the audio music tape that was free with your ticket. I got to hear a lot of great music that I knew and a lot that I didn't.

What does this have to with relationships (the theme of this week?). Well, it started me thinking about this book that I had read in high school that came out in the early 60's, called The Harrad Experiment by Robert Rimmer. It's about a college where all the students learn about sexuality and free love. I had seen the movie on HBO (starring a very young Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith, in fact it's the movie where they first met and fell in love), and was curious to read the book.

The man who wrote the book, Robert Rimmer, wrote it as a criticism of the assumption of monogamy as a societal norm. All the characters in his books discover that they're much happier in arrangements such as the one on "Big Love" or "polyamorous" relationships. At first it sounds all warm and fuzzy, this idea of 'free love' but of course it doesn't take into account human emotions, and the fact that people have a tendency to get attached, even when they're trying not too.

Personally I think it's bunk. Not that it probably doesn't work for some people, but it would never work for me. I was never good as a child at sharing my toys, and I would definitely never be good at sharing a man with not just one woman, but a bunch of them. I sucked at even dating more than one person at a time.

And I definitely get attached to people, to places, to things. I'm the worst person in the world to ever be in harem or in a commune. Unless, I'm running things like being the chief wife (the Kadin) or the head of the commune.

I remember watching a nature special on lions, where the poor male lion had to service entire pride of female lions, to the point that the poor thing looked like he needed the animal version of Viagra. In the end, I just think it sounds like a lot more work than just dealing with two people in a relationship.

I think that's why I read romance, because it's about the journey of one man, and one woman towards finding love and a relationship that's fulfiling. Not that it's going to be one happy long yellow brick road of happiness. The conflict doesn't end just because the hero and heroine declare their love and their desire to be together. We know when we put down the book that there will be bumps in the road ahead, but we believe in the power of their love (to quote the only Celine Dion song that I like) to overcome whatever obstacles might come into their path.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Things that Make Me Happy #1

Buffy Season Eight #5 is here. Yeah!

How to Seduce a Scorpio

It looks like I might actually be having something resembling a date tomorrow night with a guy that I've been emailing through Yahoo! Personals. So with that in mind, and just in case any hot guys reading this blog want to know, here are some sure fire ways if you want to score with a gorgeous Scorpio chick with amazing legs who looks really pretty today in her white flowered skirt, tight black low-cut sweater, and pearls (and extremely hot shoes!). A combination of the demure and the dominatrix!

P.S. I scammed these from an astrology book that I have in my library. They're incredibly funny. I don't think these have ever actually worked on me, but hey give it a try!

Do:

• Look sexy at all times, but not in a glaringly obvious way (um, what does this mean exactly?)
• Keep your body in good shape (but you don't have to be sick about it, otherwise you'll give me a complex)
• Just happen to have a water bed being delivered next week (I hate water beds)
• Learn to be a night person - Scorpio comes even more alive then (okay this one is totally true. I was always up for going out drinking after performing, often until the wee hours of the morning which was hell when you had to be at work at 8 a.m.)
• Keep Mr. or Ms. Scorpio guessing all the time - curiousity might have killed the cat but it kindles Scorpio's interest (well this one is true as well, I do like a mystery, and since I've been called an engima myself, of course I would be intrigued by someone who isn't an open book)
• Start practising telepathy and astound your Scorpio with your psychic impressions of their personality (now this one depends. If you're obnoxious about it, I'm going to cut you down to size. Of course it would help if I didn't have to explain everything all the time, my man just knew).
• Practise the smoldering eye routine yourself so you can have fun outstaring each other.

Don't

• Ever show you could be a jealous lover (okay, a little jealously is fine, it's when it becomes psychotic, I'm talking you Paolo on Footballer's Wives, than it becomes a problem)
• Be too intense or dramatic - this only allowed if you're another Scorpio (there can only be one drama Queen in this relationship and it's me)
• Fight this sign - it's the most invincible of all. (You'll never win. I can out argue, and out stubborn anyone)
• Ever question Scorpio's loyalty - you'll soon learn how strong it is. (I'm loyal to the point of stupidity, need help, a baby sitter, a kidney? I'm your girl)
• Get yourself involved unless you're unafraid of passion, power, and possibly intrique too (No wimps need apply!)
• Ever forget Scorpio has a need for privacy at times (translation, I need my own bathroom)

Those are all great, but if you really want to know what works? Dark chocolate and lots of it (I prefer Leonidas or Neuchatel, Godiva only in a pinch), champagne (Veuve Cliquot, or Perrier Jouet Rose), and sushi. No roses unless you cut them straight from the garden. Foot rubs and massages are also appreciated further down the line. And shoes, lots of shoes, but more important, just treat me like the Queen that I am, and we'll get along fine!

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Abby's Pop Meme

Oh my gawd, I cannot believe that Ivana Trump is getting married for the fourth time, and I'm having problems getting a date! What is wrong with this picture? Seriously, I'm sure that she's a very nice person, but she still did a reality TV show called "Ivana man." And the guy that she's marrying is 35! That's the same age as fun guy. This news made me so depressed that I almost emailed fun guy to see if he wanted to go for round 3 of our dysfunctional dating game. Fortunately, I went out and bought a apple multigrain donut from Starbucks and ate it and then I lay down until the feeling passed.




So on to Abby's Pop Meme. I've been tagged by Megan so here are the rules:



1. Go to this link at Pop Culture Madness (scroll down - see the list of years on the left?)

2. Pick the year you turned 18

3. Pick five songs from that year

4. Wax nostalgic about each song and why it’s special

5. Pass it on to 5 more friends




"Don't You Want Me" by Human League - I first heard this over the summer while I was in London and I bought the 45 while I was there (remember 45's?). I thought I was so sophisticated playing my new music from England, and I felt justified when it was a huge hit here in the States. Plus who can't relate to the song?



"Tainted Love" - Soft Cell - I love, love this song. In fact, I have it on my iPod. I used to play this all the time because it reminded me of my ex-boyfriend. I also remember dancing to it at the danceathon that we had at school to raise money for Vietnam Vets. We danced for 5 hours in the cafeteria. The rules were you had to dance even on your way to the bathroom. Once inside of course you could stop dancing, but once you were done, you had to start dancing again. This song was great, because you didn't have to move to much to it.



"We Got the Beat" - Still my favorite Go-Go's song. How can you not dance to this song? Another song that I have on my iPod. I loved the fact that they were an all girl band that played their own instruments, instead of just the chick who fronted the band. A guy I went to high school with thought their song "Our Lips are sealed" was really "I love Cecile."



"Rock this Town" - Stray Cats - Remember them? Before Brian Setzer became a new wave Big Band singer? I had no idea what rockabilly was when this song came out, I just knew that I could do the jive to it like my parents. Although I thought all 3 of them were too skinny and skanky to be believed.



"Maneater" - I used to have a crush on Daryl Hall of Hall & Oates (come on, the guy had great hair, like a golden retriever.) And I always wanted to be considered a woman that was a maneater. I have no idea why but being a femme fatale appealed to me (see Monday's post).





Okay, I am now tagging, Mary, Kelly, Gabrielle, Patt, and Carolyn.



Thanks for reading,



EKM

Movie Review: Becoming Jane

Sigh! I had the opportunity last night to see an advanced screening of the new film 'Becoming Jane,' starring Anne Hathaway (interesting that she's named after Shakespeare's wife), and James McAvoy. You can see by the line at the top of the poster why I have a hard time trying to figure out just what to say about this film.

The movie purports to be the story of Jane and her lost love, Tom Lefroy. If you know anything about Jane Austen and her life, you know that there is very little evidence beyond a few mentions of him in her letters. The Jane Austen Society of North America has a link where you can read about the actual facts about Tom Lefroy and Jane Austen here.

I have no problem with the idea that Jane may have had a lost love. After all her sister Cassandra lost her fiance to yellow fever. What bothered me about the film was the idea that Jane Austen could never have created Darcy or Willoughby without having been in love herself. Although the filmmakers make it clear that Jane had already been writing for years whenever she got a chance, there are too many scenes of her being 'inspired' after spending time with Tom Lefroy. Case in point (SPOILER ALERT), she starts writing Pride & Prejudice after spending time with Tom and his uncle in London. Writing feverishly all night long, it looked for a moment like she wrote the entire book! And then there's another scene, where he introduces her to Fielding's Tom Jones. As if she'd never thought to read the book before.

One of the most interesting scenes in the movie and the one they did the least with, is the scene where Jane gets to meet Mrs. Radcliffe, and they have a stilted conversation about being a wife and a novelist. I don't know alot about Mrs. Radcliffe but I couldn't tell if she was just shy or she'd been nipping into the laundanum.

I found the only way that I could reasonably enjoy this film is if I just forgot that the film was supposed to be about Jane Austen and just thought of it as a movie about some girl named Jane who meets a guy named Tom and falls in love with him but they can't get married because they have no money. And there are some enjoyable parts of the movie and some absolutely laugh out loud parts, and not in the good way.

Tom in this film is supposed to be a prolifegate who spends his time brawling (bare knuckle boxing) and whoring, and very little time studying to be a lawyer (shades of Willoughby). He then meets Jane, and turns into Darcy with his disdain of her reading her work, and distaste for country living.

Out of the two actors, I much preferred James McAvoy as Tom. He has a certain charm to him, and his eyes are so beautifully blue. Plus he's married to Ann-Marie Duff who's older than he is and we like that. Anne Hathaway seems to spend most of her time trying to hang onto her accident and widening her big brown eyes. Thank god the film is filled with wonderful actors like Julie Walters (playing Mrs. Austen like a less annoying version of Mrs. Bennett), James Cromwell as Mr. Austen, Maggie Smith playing a variation of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and the late Ian Richardson who plays Tom's uncle. Anna Maxwell Martin was lovely as Cassandra and there's a really wonderful scene when she receives the news of her fiance's death, and both Mrs. Austen and Jane are trying to comfort her, and another scene of the two sisters lying cuddled together in bed. You can easily see from this scene where Jane might have gotten the inspiration for Elinor and Marianne's relationship in S&S.

The other flaw in the film is that most of the dialogue sounds like the screenwriter opened a copy of The Wit and Wisdom of Jane Austen and copied it down in the screenplay, and it just sounds unnatural because it isn't dialogue. It's as if someone tried to turn this blog into a screenplay. The screenwriter also tried to make a parallel between Jane and Tom, and Jane's cousin Eliza and her brother Henry. Eliza has money and can buy Henry a commission in the army which he wants, so you get the impression that it's almost a marriage of convenience but with a lot of sex.

There are some scenes that are just out and out cliches. If they were in a regency romance novel you would have thrown the book across the room. Case in point (SPOILER ALERT), after Jane and Tom have made the huge, and I mean huge decision to elope with all that entails, they end up stranded for a bit when the wheel of the stagecoach gets stuck in mud. As Tom is helping to move the coach, Jane holds his coat and ends up reading a letter from his mother (yes, our Jane is a big ole snoop, reading other people's mail). She comes to the conclusion that since he uses part of his allowance to feed his huge family, she has to release him, to marry another.

I almost fell out of my seat I was laughing so hard at that moment. I suppose it was supposed to be poignant, but it was just so clear that the writers had to find some way to get Jane and Tom out of this situation, and Jane being the level-headed young miss makes the ultimate sacrifice. Then to make it worse the filmmakers add an epilogue where Tom and Jane meet years later when she's a famous authoress, and she's in London with Henry and Eliza (okay, I'm still rolling on the floor during this scene). Tom's daughter Jane is of course a huge Jane Austen fan, and wants to hear Jane read, which she obligingly does, as Tom and Jane exchange longing looks. Oy!

There was some humor of the 'don't make me cringe' variety. After yet another man proposes to Jane (apparently she was quite popular with the men), she yells in frustration "Are there no other women in Hampshire?" Funniest line in the whole film. There's some other plot stuff that I won't get into but its of the "You've got to be kidding me" variety.

Also, I'm not a huge costume expert, but I had to wonder why (the film is set in 1795) Jane and Cassandra are wearing empire waisted gowns but pretty much everyone else in the film is still wearing full skirts and square bodices? I wouldn't think two women who are living off the pittance Mr. Austen made could be so au courant with their wardrobe.

It's just a very silly, silly film. The only thing that would have improved this film would have been more scenes of James McAvoy shirtless and more snogging.

This isn't the first time that someone has written a speculative romanace about Jane Austen and a lost love. Howard Fast wrote a play called The Novelist that supposes that Jane in the twilight of her life, as she was dying met a sea captain (see where I'm going with this) and was thus inspired to write Persuasion.

Would I recommend this film? It depends, if you can check your brain at the door, and refrain from yelling at the screen, everytime that something false comes up, than yes. If not, you might not want to see this film unless you have a doctor's note, because you will have a stroke. Or just go home and rent Shakespeare in Love, the film that Becoming Jane Austen aspires to be but falls far short of.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Update: Oh and I completely forgot the scene where Mr. Austen dives under the covers to give Mrs. Austen a little morning delight. Probably because I think I went blind for a second. And can anyone tell me if they were doing sign language in the 18th century. Because there's a scene with Jane and her brother, who I thought was mentally handicapped, but seems to be deaf in this movie. I'm pretty sure Jane is doing ASL with George, long before Annie Sullivan was teaching Helen Keller.

The Girl I Used to Be

Since Venus is now in retrograde, this week's posts are all about relationships. Remember that episode of 'Sex and the City' where Charlotte laments that she's been dating for 20 years and where is he already? Well, I've been feeling like that alot lately.




Back when I was 26, I met the Australian cowboy. This guy was seriously hot, a former member of the SAS, gymnast and personal trainer. He'd just played Iago in a production of 'Othello' that my BFF had had a small part in. She thought that we would be great together.





So we threw this awesome party at the art gallery that my BFF's boyfriend owned (that's another story). And he came and totally didn't notice me until the end when he was leaving and I said good-bye and he asked me my name. I was devastated, and determined that the next time he saw me, he would remember me.



Not only would he remember me, but he would want me so bad, he couldn't see straight. Not once did occur to me that I couldn't make this happen, or that he wouldn't want me, or even that it might not be a good idea, being that he had just gotten out of a bad marriage and all (that's another story). I'd made my mind up. I wanted the guy who'd pulled a bottle of Jack Daniel's out of his boot (I thought that was incredibly sexy).


Long story short, I went and rented a cute little Lady Buccaneer outfit to wear to this Halloween party that we threw (my BFF and I were big on throwing parties back in the day). Short red coat, lacy shirt, and thigh high black suede boots. You get the picture. Without even touching the Cowboy, I made him want me (Trust me this is a skill). By the end of the evening, he was dying for me. Not only that but I had somehow attracted the notice of a 21 year old artist friend of the BFF (he painted gargoyles and cars) who declared his lust for me at the end of the evening (Hey 2 for 1!).




What happened to that girl? Is it getting older? Becoming more cynical about relationships? One too many bad first dates? (oooh, great title for a book). Ever since ex-sweetie and I finally gave up the ghost on our relationship 4 years ago, I've found it harder and harder to be optimistic about finding someone else.



Case in point, I'm so afraid of being rejected, I've been holding back on the mojo. It's like I'd rather not even try to let someone know I like them, that way they can't give that 'I'm just not interested' or even worse, 'It's not you, it's me,' speech. Or I give off mixed signals that he's not even getting.



Just last week, I was wearing this incredibly sexy Banana Republic dress, and the only compliment I got was from the homeless guy in front of Barnes and Noble. Although, apparently this young guy who writes for the NYT was checking me out at the Grey Gardens screening, but I was so oblivious that I didn't notice. My friend had to tell me. Of course, he could just have been wondering why I was wearing a dress with a plunging neckline to a movie screening.





See what I mean? I can't even allow myself to get my hopes up anymore with a guy that I meet that I'm attracted to.



I think that's why I like on-line dating. I can send as many ice breakers as I want on Yahoo Personals, and if I don't hear anything, it's no loss. I haven't really risked anything. They don't know me, and I don't know them. But put me in a real situation, and I'm dead meat. But I have to keep trying, because Mr. Right isn't going to come knocking on my door while I'm sitting in my night gown watching 'Pride and Prejudice' with Colin Firth for the 15th time. I have to somehow keep hoping.





A psychic astrologer told me recently that she sees me ending up with a bitter and angry writer who's a semi-recluse, who doesn't live in the city and is flying under the radar right now.


I can hardly wait. Yeah me!



EKM

Grey Gardens

I have a confession to make. I'm a little obsessed with Grey Gardens, and the story of Edith Bouvier Beale and her daughter 'Little' Edie. I went to see the musical on Tuesday night, which was just okay. It's the performances of Christine Ebersole and Mary Louise Wilson and the second act that make the show.

The first act which tries to explain how these two women ended up in their co-dependent dysfunctional relationship that was captured by the Mayles' in their landmark documentary (which I saw last night) is flat, and the music is uninspiring. The setting is ostensibly an engagement party for 'Little' Edie to Joe Kennedy jr. (Supposedly the were engaged and it was announced in the Times, but I had never heard of it before and I would think that Kennedy biographers over the years would have mentioned it). The act ends with Big Edie implying to Joe that 'Little Edie' was fast sending him running screaming into the night (his political career you know). 'Little' Edie then makes a break for it, taking off for New York City. The whole first act, at least for me, was big cliche. Overbearing mother ruins daughter's happiness, too self-absorbed in her own career to pay attention to daughter. Oh, and they have little Jackie and Lee Bouvier running around to make the point that Jackie grew up to have the life that was supposed to be 'Little' Edie's.

The second act is where the story starts with the two women living in squalor in their East Hampton mansion, bickering, signing with 'Little' Edie modeling her bizarre fashion sense which looks frighteningly fashion forward. Seriously the outfits are kind of weird but they work on her. The show and the documentary shine a microscope on the eccentricities of the upper classes. If the Beales had been poor or middle class, we would have just called them crazy.

Neither the film or the musical answer the questions that one wants answered. Like what were Big Edie's sons doing this whole time their mother and sister were living in basically one room with 57 cats and several raccoons? What were the Beale's living on? I can't imagine that Edith Bouvier Beale was collecting social security, and I know that her father apparently cut her out of the will because of her singing ambitions. Despite the squalor they still managed to find money for good and for a gardener.

I know that Jackie and her sister (or Ari Onassis) paid something like $25,000 to have the house cleaned and fixed up after the town of East Hampton called the Board of Health. So why didn't they pay for a housekeeper or to fix the place up even more? I mean they are holes in the attic where these raccoons are living. Exterminator? The most horrifying scene in the movie is where Little Edie is feeding the raccoons Wonder Bread and Purina cat chow.

Watching the film was horrifying yet poignant. You felt for these women yet at the same time you were impatient with them. You want to know what happened to them, what led them to pulling back from the outside world so much that they were both living in one room in a huge house with a hot plate and a fridgerator. You admire their sense of humor, but you can see that they both live some strange dysfunctional world. It's clear from watching the documentary that they love having the audience, someone else to listen to them apart from each other.

After the film last night, there was some speculation as to their psychological make-up, were they classic narcissitic personalities? Was little Edie crazy? And more importantly were they being exploited in the film or was it that other way around? It's clear from comments the women made after the film was made that they clearly knew what they were doing, and relished the attention, as women who have been admired all their lives for their beauty and charm, and would expect nothing less from a film.

I found a blog Grey Gardens News that gives a little bit more information about the two women, the various films, and the musical. The movie has become a cult classic with people throwing Grey Gardens parties where they dress up like Little Edie. And fashion designers have been taking their cute from her style. I think that Little Edie would have really gotten a kick out that.

Big Edie passed away shortly after the film was made but Little Edie lived on until 2002, finally moving to New York and then finally down south to Bal Harbour where she passed away.

If you haven't seen Grey Gardens I can't highly recomend it enough. It will haunt you.

Thanks for reading,

EKM

5 Cheesiest Songs on my iPod

So after I lost my red iPod Nano, I hadn't planned on buying another iPod, but I was missing my music something fierce, so I decided to buy the little Apple iPod shuffle, and I chose orange, because it was such a neat color, and I knew most people would go for the pink or blue colors. My shuffle would stand out in the crowd, the way my red one did.

The only thing that's bad about the shuffle is that it only holds about 250 songs compared to the 1,000 that the 2G iPod Nano holds so I've had to be really careful about what I download onto it.

Still, it's always good to have a little cheese among the Amy Winehouse and the Bob Dylan don't you think? For those moments when you need a little pick-up or want to go bopping down the street.

So here are the 5 cheesiest songs on my iPod:

1) Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield (Got's to love the Rick and how can you not love a song that uses the word moot in the lyrics?)

2) Dancing Queen - ABBA

3) These Boots are made for Walking - Nancy Sinatra

4) MacArthur's Park - Donna Summer (Doesn't anyone know what those lyrics mean? 'Someone left the cake out in the rain?)

5) What's new Pussycat? - Tom Jones (Oh my God, the man is like 67 and still hot).

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Yes, I'm a Celebrity Magnet

So I'm on my way to the subway last night, clutching Harry Potter Book 7, when who should come walking past me, yakking on his cell phone but the great man himself, Mr. Gordon Ramsay. I couldn't believe it. I just about died. Now this is not quite as fantastic as KMJ getting to press her womanly flesh up against Sam from Top Chef but it was close. I would have said something to him but I was afraid he was going to yell at me for talking to him when he was clearly on the phone.

I watched the first season of Hell's Kitchen for the most part, but I couldn't watch the whole thing because it was giving me an ulcer to watch him yell at the contestants every week. But I do like Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America, where he actually comes off as a nice person, who cares about people that he's trying to help. I understand that in the American version, he's back to yelling at people.

And no, I have not finished Harry Potter 7. I just got the book on Monday and I'm savoring it like a fine wine. I do not want it to be over yet, although I'm tempted to take a mental health day to finish it. I know I'm going to need that glass of wine when it's over, because I'll be so sad. And there's no chance of Hogwarts, the Next Generation (Thank God).

Thanks for reading!

EKM

Memories of Venice

In honor of the release of Amanda McCabe's first Harlequin Historical (which I just picked up at Barnes and Noble, I had the great honor of hanging out with Amanda in the Grand Lounge in Atlanta last year), I thought I would share some of my pictures from my trip to Venice a few years ago. I had long dreamed of going to Venice, hopefully with that special someone, taking a gondola ride, staying at the Danieli. Well, the years were going by and that wasn't happening (I couldn't even get ex-sweetie pie to come and visit me in London, and he wouldn't have had to pay for a hotel room) so the year I turned 40 I decided to treat myself to a trip to Venice.

So of course, I decide that the best way to see Venice is during Carnivale, that festival which literally means End of Meat, since it ocurrs before Lent. My friends and I stayed in a lovely little flat on the Fondamente Nuove right near the canal. Literally. If any of us had been too drunk and walked too far, we would have fallen right in.



This is my friend Bella and I at the final night ball during Carnivale.






A lovely view of Piazza San Marco. On left is Cafe Florian where we spent many a day sipping frothy cappucino's, and Prosecco.

Okay, I'm not sure where I took this one.

Or this one. But aren't they pretty?

Anyway, go out and pick up a copy of Amanda's book today!

Thanks for reading,

EKM

Is Hershey's the Devil?

I was a girl scout for 5 years, and every year I looked forward to selling cookies primarily because it meant getting my hands on Thin Mints. Even after I dropped out (my school didn't have enough girls interested in being cadets and I couldn't find another troop), I still managed to get my hands on some Thin Mints.

So imagine my surprise when I bought a box of York Peppermint Patty cookies and discovered that they tasted just as good as Thin Mints. In fact they reminded me of my other favorite mint cookies from the 1970's, Mystic Mint which are extremely hard to find, sort of like Mallomars.

Damn you Hershey Chocolate!

Harry Potter

Find out your Harry Potter personality at LiquidGeneration!

Sherman's March

So I went to a screening of this documentary Sherman's March on Thursday. I had never heard of this movie, but that's not saying much because there are tons of documentaries that I haven't heard of. Such is a life spent seeing movies that have roman numerals after them, along with the occasional independant film, and a huge amount of films made before 1970.

The plot is thus: After his girlfriend leaves him, McElwee takes a voyage along the original route followed by General William Sherman -- but rather than cutting a swath of destruction designed to force the Confederate South into submission, as Sherman did, McElwee searches for love, camera in hand, “training his lens with phallic resolve on every accessible woman he meets.” The movie was shot in 1980 but not released in 1986 where it won an award at Sundance.

After watching the film, I wasn't sure if I liked it or hated it. I was split down the middle. At first this movie reminded me of that new show with Scott Baio, where he goes and talks to all his old girlfriends including Erin Moran who played Joanie on Happy Days to find out why he's still single at 45, along with seeing a life coach who's supposed to help him have a break through with his emotional issues.

Fortunately this movie was a bit deeper than whether or not Scott has emotional issues because he used to be a teen star. Ross McElwee clearly indentifies with Sherman in some way. He mentions that Sherman had been a failure before the Civil War, as was Ulysses S. Grant (nice to know the Northern Army was in the hands of men who were basically incompetent in the real world. Maybe that's why we kept losing in the early days!) He emphasizes that Sherman loved the South, and hated what he was doing.

In some ways, I wish that he had included more about Sherman in the movie, than the few tidbits that we got (although there is a hilarious scene where he's dressed up as a confederate solider for a costume party) but Sherman is just a by-product of the film. Although ostensibly he's trying to find out why he's still single, the film is a valentine to the South,and Southern women, and the way he grew up.

Confession, my mother was Southern, from Suffolk, Virginia (peanut country), although she wasn't from the Deep South. My grandparents however were from North Carolina. Legend has it that we have Cherokee and Shawnee blood, which my mother was prouder of, than being from the South. Although they moved to New York when she was five, she spent every summer down South in Virginia and she was raised by her older sisters who southern women down to their fingertips. So I've always been fascinated by the breed.

Enough about me, back to the movie. My biggest problem with this film was the length. At times it felt as long as Sherman's March to the Sea. It clocked in a whopping two and a half hours. Although most of it was fascinating, there was at least a good half hour of material that could have been cut, including all the Burt Reynolds stuff. Don't ask.

I also noticed a pattern in his relationships. He seemed to gravitate towards unattainable women, women who were madly in love with men who didn't treat them very well. That whole bad boy thing rearing its ugly head again. Ross seemed like the nice guy that we often ignore for the exciting guy who doesn't call us for two weeks after a date.

While I felt for him, there were other times when I just wanted to slap him upside the head and tell him to wake up and smell the Krispy Kremes. The only women who weren't involved were both how shall I put it, a bit on the religious side? And then there was a singer that he seemed interested in but that seemed to peter out. He just seemed to float from town to town, relationship to relationship, leaving a path of destruction (or at least a broken down car).

It was frustrating and reminded me a little too much of my Impossibly Handsome British Friend. It didn't seem as if Ross knew what he was looking for in a woman or a relationship. The film ends tantalizingly with the promise of perhaps another relationship as he takes a continuing education class in music.

My favorite character was his friend Charleen who he's actually featured in a short film which I thinking of renting to watch. She's one of those straight talking women who tell it like it is, and don't give you a chance to argue. She steamrolls over Ross in a way that was absolutely hysterical.

WTF moment of the film was the woman who claimed while the South was justified in fighting the war against Northern Aggression, slavery should have been an option. As she put it, "If you want to be a slave, be a slave." Okay, who in their right mind is going to choose being a slave over freedom? Like that's even a choice.

Anyway, if you want to see an early example of what we know take for granted in confessional movie-making, rent Sherman's March. And take a break midway through to make a sandwich or a bathroom break or to take a nap.

EW does Romance

Imagine my surprise when I got home last night from work and opened my copy of Entertainment Weekly to discover that this week they've reviewed 4 romances in a special box at the top of the page. With all the controversy this past week over romance authors wearing costumes, and whether or not it set the genre back a hundred years, here were romances being reviewed by a magazine that's read by millions of people.

Of course, I was a little disappointed that the books they chose to review were by pretty well-established authors like Joanna Lindsay and Sherrilyn Kenyon (clearly wearing that swan hat in Dallas didn't hurt her a bit), but it was nice to see Meljean Brooks get reviewed. My good buddy Megan Frampton loves her books, and after reading the review I'm tempted to go out and get a copy (or just borrow Megan's hint, hint).

Here's hoping that this will be regular feature in EW (does anyone know if this is the first time they've done this? I confess I can't remember). It can only help the industry, when a magazine that deals with pop culture reviews romances. I know that People has reviewed Sandra Brown and Nora Roberts. Maybe the New York Times won't be far behind? Nah, that's too much to even hope for.

That just goes along with the other good news that Megan, along with several other friends, Lani Diane Rich, Eileen Rendahl and Michelle Cunnah had books that were included in the Complete Idiot's Guide Ultimate Reading list which just came out recently.

Oh, and I got to see Patti Lupone play Mama Rose in Gypsy today which did a great deal to alleviate the pain at knowing that not only do I have to buy a new VCR/DVD player tomorrow, but also a new answering machine, since mine just died on me today.

Well, I'm off to get ready to watch Rachael Ray tonight for work.

Thanks for reading!

EKM

TGIF - Things that I love

Since it's Friday, and I'm so happy that this week is over, I thought today's post would be about some things that I love.

Mike Rowe - See the guy to the left? That's Mike Rowe, the host of Dirty Jobs on The Discovery Channel. If you haven't watched this show, you should. The premise is that Mike Rowe goes around the country investigating the jobs that are the most people are lucky they don't have to do. Everything from cleaning out a septic tank, to standing hip deep in bat guana, this guy is game for everything. And he doesn't just stand around interviewing people, he gets right in there, and I mean literally. I think in one episode, he hand his arm up a cow's ass for some reason.

Joey and Howie on Top Chef - First these two lugs hate each other and almost come to blows, next thing you know after working with Casey, they love each other so much, I expect them to start making out at any moment. Two lunkheads making great food.

Dark Chocolate Covered M&M's, Dark Chocolate Covered Raisinets - Basically if you cover it with dark chocolate I'll eat it. You could probably cover a cockroach in dark chocolate, and if I didn't know what it was, I'd think it was just something crunchy. Barring that, with these two items, I can get my dark chocolate fix every day. And it's good for you too, plus raisins are fruit!

Anthony Bourdain - How much do I love this guy? Even though he can't stand vegetarians, I still love him, because he's witty, and smart, and he's willing to drink snake's urine, so I don't have to. Every episode of Top Chef that he guest judges is a keeper. Seriously, get rid of Padma and Gail and just have Tom, Ted, and Anthony and I would be a happy girl.

Richard Armitage as Sir Guy of Gisbourne - Is it just me or is Richard Armitage the only reason to watch the BBC's new Robin Hood? Cause it certainly isn't Robin Hood. While I like Maid Marian and the Sheriff, Robin Hood and the Merry Men are a bit boring to me. But Richard Armitage is cruel, manly and also surprisingly vulnerable. He's the classic alpha male/bad boy. Someone give this guy his own series pronto!

And finally how smoking hot are these shoes?

When Hell Breaks Loose - RWA Conference

Why is it that whenever I don't go to the RWA conference, stuff happens? I missed the conference in Reno, which was the year of the RITA awards debacle, where Nora walked out and TTQ gave the lamest apology on the planet if you can ever consider it an apology. This year, I don't go and there's RITA controversy again, and alot of stuff about readers/reviewers/bloggers attending the conference as well as what it means to dress professionally. Not to mention the changes to PAN and the publishing criteria.

Even though I wasn't there, that's never stopped me from putting my two cents in.

1) It seems that people are up in arms about the changes to the RWA policy for recognizing publishers, feeling that it means that RWA hates erotica. I don't think that the changes to the policy mean they hate erotica, I think they just want to protect writers from getting screwed since Triskelion went bankrupt and it's not the only e-publisher to go belly-up in recent years. Do I think the hate the idea of erotica and erotic romance? Well, I went to the board meeting in New York two years ago, and I had the feeling that the board at that time, had not only problems with erotica but with chick-lit as well. They felt that RWA was moving away from it's purpose which is romance writing. Remember the whole definition of romance debacle?

2) Barb Ferrer winning the RITA for Best Contemporary Romance. Poor Barb, you win a RITA and before you have time to enjoy it, the knives are out. It seems there are two issues here, should she have won the RITA for Best Contemporary Romance, and why the book was included in that category at all. My feeling is that, the preliminary judges, knowing that Barb had to enter two categories to be considered for best first book, let her slide into the Best Contemporary Romance category, since word count kept her out of Best Mainstream with Romantic Elements. They clearly liked the book and felt that she should be nominated. And she won because the final judges preferred her book over the others in the category. Instead of being mad at Barb, those naysayers should take it up with the preliminary judges.

Now I read Adios, was it a romance? No, not the way RWA or the category defines contemporary romance. And that has nothing to do with the age of the heroine. It has to do with the fact that the book is a coming of age story, with a romance. In a contemporary romance, the primary focus is supposed to be on the hero and heroine, not as a subplot.

RWA already has put measures in place so that next year the YA category is more open, which openfully will mean that there will be an RWA YA RITA awarded, and I hope that Barb's next book is one of the nominees.

3) Authors dressing up in costume during the conference. Apparently there are authors who were not happy that a few authors dressed up like their characters to promote their books during the public book signing for Literacy that RWA has each year. Correct me if I'm wrong but don't members of the Beau Monde dress up for their RWA party every year? And the book-signing was not just an RWA book signing, it was open to the public meaning readers were there, so what's the big deal? It would be one thing if they had walked around the conference the entire time like that, but they didn't. I seriously doubt that RWA is in danger of going the way of RT with Vampire Costume Balls or Faerie Balls, or Cover Model pageants.

Update: Okay, I just got done reading the rest of the comments over at Smart Bitches and I can see where Nora Roberts and Jenny Crusie are coming from, but I can also see why the two authors chose to promote their books dressed not so much as their characters but in a Manga style. The Shomi line is new, and their two books are part of the launch. The criticism stemmed partly from whether or not they turned people off from reading the other Shomi books, and whether or not it was appropriate at an RWA function.

Also, an another issue is how far should an author go to promote their books, and when does it cross a line. Frankly, I don't think the two authors crossed that line, but it is possible that they should confine their promotional efforts to other conferences that aren't RWA. They say on their web-site 'Rebels of Romance" that they want to get readers who don't read romance to try the books, and a younger audience. Great, I'm all for that, but perhaps RWA was not the appropriate forum after all.

Also, I'm not sure that publishers are going to be pressing authors to dress like their characters, but the reality is, most mid-list authors get little to no promotion from their publisher, so whatever you can do to promote your books, you need to consider. But you also have to consider what you are promoting, the book or yourself. It appears that several authors who were taken aback, felt that there was a fine line between promoting the books and the women themselves.

4) Readers/Bloggers/Reviewers attending the conference. Okay, a lot of authors who attended the conference are bloggers, as are booksellers and librarians. The only way to keep them out is if RWA requires only RWA members can attend the conference, which means that the cost will go up probably. Most conferences allow non-members to attend. I don't see what the big deal is. If they're willing to shell out about over $1,000 to attend the conference, I say more power to them. None of the bloggers have had anything bad to say about the conference. They all loved it and had a great time.

EKM

Why Spoil the Fun?

So I've been reading articles on the internet lately about certain people who''ve taken it upon themselves to spoil the ending for the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, some sites apparently have uploaded supposed photocopies from the book including the last page.

My question, why? Why spoil the fun for the millions of fans who have been waiting for this book since the series first began, who have waited patiently (and impatiently) for JK Rowling to finish writing the series.

And why would anyone want to read the book before it's released?

I confess I do have a habit of picking up romance novels and reading a bit of the end before I buy the book, but I have never been tempted to read the ending of my Harry Potter novels nor have I gone to any of the sites that purport to have intimate knowledge of the book.

Why? Because I want my experience of Harry Potter to be untainted. In a world where spoilers abound for everything, this is the one thing that I hold sacred. And I just don't get why people are doing it. Is it jealously of JK Rowling because she's sold millions of copies of her books and will continue to do so as new readers discover Harry Potter? Is it just sheer maliciousness?

All I know is that they're totally breaking the law, at least the people who are publishing excerpts from the book without permission, and I hope that publishing company cracks down on them for it.

The bottom line is that this is someone's lifes work. JK Rowling has sweat blood, and tears to make this series true to her vision, and I think that we owe it to her to come to the experience without judgments or prejudices, to just let her entertain us.

I will be eagerly waiting my copy of the book (I pre-ordered it way back in March) and promise you I will not be peaking at the ending to make sure that Harry lives. Not because I think that JK Rowling would never do that to her fans, she can do what she wants, but because I want that pure element of surprise.

Thanks for reading,

EKM